He said "You got what was coming to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
He said "You got what was coming to you.
9
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 1:31pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 1:53pm
I DONT KNOW ,IN MY PERSONAL OPINION I THINK HE CHEATED ,BUT EVEN IF HE DIDNT GO ALL THE WAY,WITH THE WAY HES TREATING YOU WHY ARE YOU EVEN BOTHERING WITH HIM?HE DOESNT EVEN WANT COUNSELING AND HE STILL CANNOT ADMIT HE F***ED UP AND THAT IT WAS HIS FAULT NOT YOURS.HE SOUNDS LIKE A MAJOR A**HOLE
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 2:14pm

Major ass*&%^ is right. Thank you. You should hear some of the screwed up things he says to me. Again, it's all about me being wrong, that I need to stop dwelling on it and move forward, stop being sad about it... It's disgusting. He's disgusting. Yet, he IS my husband and the father of our two children and I guess I need to try to work it out. My mom says he should get another chance, then dump him if he does it again. I agree with that, too.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 4:11pm

I have one question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 4:29pm
I know I am way smarter than he wants me to think I am!! No, I will not spend the rest of my life with a repeat offender. Personally, my beleif is that you get one chance and that is it.
Mom_love42
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 6:16pm

Mom


Good for you! You gave him his chance and he blew it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 7:44pm

I am giving him another chance. This is the first time I have concrete evidence of a relationship that he has had while we were together. I have always suspected, but of course, I was always being ridiculous.


I really don't want to be divorced. I am "in love" with being in love, I guess. We have two kids and he does adore them and I would never take that from him. I just worry that he says he is sorry that he did not go about "procuring" another partner the wrong way. But the fact that I found condoms in his car tell a different story. You can't rely on the fact that you never slept with the other woman as your ace in the whole as to why it is not an "affair", but then have purchased condoms. That shows that you had every intention of sleeping with that person had the chance arisen. Once someone is caught, why can't they just own it and come clean? I have told him that I am a big girl and that if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't and explained that I just don't believe his story.


Tonight I plan to confront him with the fact that I found condoms in his car. I have prepared myself for the fact that he is going to make it more about me snooping than about the condoms and the questions that they create. That's his usual MO, hence the "you got what you had coming to you..." comment. I think I am going to preface it by telling him that I believe that they did NOT sleep together, but that the condoms lead to concerns that he had intentions to. I am keeping my fingers crossed that i will find some relief, but I doubt it....

Mom_love42
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:09pm

Mom


You're the best judge of what you want and what you're willing to tolerate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:22pm
I appreciate your understanding and it sounds like you really tried. I have respect for that and I understand that I could end up exactly where you are now. I am glad for your content and do realize that there are worse and better days. I have a lot of family support, including a cousin who is a kick as attorney. I take comfort in knowing that at least!
Mom_love42
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:23pm

I'm sorry he did this to you again after your precious baby....


First, don't bother about confrontation.