He wants to re-build

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2012
He wants to re-build
3
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 12:38pm

After being together for over a year, I found out my BF was cheating on me. Lie upon lie upon lie. I was devastated. After his affair ended, he "realized" he loved me. I took him back. Made plans for our future, moving in together, planning our life's journey, marriage. He swore he was not communicating with that woman. I knew better. First he would lie about it. I knew he was still communicating. He kept saying he wouldn't do it anymore, and they were harmless e-mails anyway. "She means nothing". Nothing turned into sending her cards telling her she was in his thoughts which turned into "harmless" rides on his motorcycle behind my back. When I found out, I was hurt and angry. Then what happened? He began seeing her and having sex because he was lonely because we were in a "disagreement". . Now he is remorseful again. Talked me into going to couple's counseling with him (and I see him strugglling with the truth with the counselor.) Swears it will never happen again. Wants to move on forget the past and rebuild our lives-says he will spend the rest of his life trying to re-build my trust in him. I don't trust him. I have no reason to trust him. I hate that I love this man so much but am in such a sad place. I don't know what to do. This pattern of betrayal and apology I feel he can never break. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Especially after this 2nd round with the same woman. There is so much more to this situation than I feel I should waste time talking about. Can a cheater ever change? Should his track record speak for itself? I feel so betrayed and of so little worth. And I know better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 3:00pm

(((64bellajo)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2012
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 5:55pm
Dear Ollie,
I can only be hurt if I choose to allow it. I've read your words over and over, the only way to break the cycle is for me to remove myself from it and start believing in myself again. There will be someone worthy of my love, devotion and dedication. I am so glad you are here, glad I reached out. Hugs and thank you...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 7:15am

Hi 64bellajo,