Heartbroken- lost. advice anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Heartbroken- lost. advice anyone?
3
Sat, 01-30-2010 - 11:21am

need to know what others think of this. Yesterday I found out my husband put a spy program on my laptop and was watching my every move while he was at work. I am pretty much an open book to my DH but I guess he figured I must be hiding something. So what he saw me browsing yesterday was a sex message board. Lately I have been looking up ways to spice up our sex life. I have a really low sex drive it is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 01-30-2010 - 12:06pm

mm here.. been married for 10 yrs.. my wife is quite similar to you.. she never came out and said it directly but when we are intimate, which is rare, i always feel she is there as part of fulfilling her duties.. she is a great friend and mom.. so

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 10:18pm

My heart goes out to you confused_12004. I think you don't deserve your husbands abuse. Too bad he won't change till he gets the help he needs. There are groups to help him if he is open to it. But we are never open to change till a Devine intervention, such as in my case divorce.
He sounds to me, while I am not a doctor he fits being a sex addict. A guy who doesn't care how you feel, until you are convinced from his bad behavior to head out the door. He will continue to manipulate you and abuse you till you also learn a different way of relating. Are you prepared to join a women's group instead of leaving, or even if in the event you leave this marriage? Because I'm afraid you may just attract another guy like this till you find out what his problem is and how you attracted him.

Best Wishes to you! (And your Husband if he decides you are worth it to get help).

P.S. I just reread your part of your letter about him spying on you. What is he "NUTS". (GO WITH YOUR INSTINCTS/GUTS/INTUITION. You know the answer.Now you must do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 9:51am

Thanks for th insight.