HELP ASAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
HELP ASAP
17
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 8:33pm

I am needing help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 8:59pm

Hi h2k, Hugs,
Did you tell him no contact? That would be a must for me. No contact means no phone calls--zip--no communication-- so even if they do not physically meet phone calls are still contact. Question is what do YOU feel about this? You are the one who must live with his choice to continue the A. Do not believe a word he tells you! He must back up his desire to rebuild with actions.

I'm glad you have seen an attorney. Be strong and tell him what you feel, need and require in your marriage! Try to keep your composure when you talk to him and hang in there! If he needs to hear that you spoke with an attorney to know you mean business than so be it. I think the WS will continue the behavior until we really let them know we will not accept it. Be strong my friend!

hugs, Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 9:41pm

I guess that I did not tell him No Contact, because he told me that it was over before I found out and all the proof I had agreed with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 9:52pm
you have been trying
there is no reason for them to be in contact
you need to make it crystal clear what he has to lose even if it means kicking him out
it is all on him, if he wakes up and comes to his senses he can prove himself worthy of you trying again
do not continue to let him have his two worlds he needs to decide on one
if he talks you into staying he needs to be an open book cell phone records internet email passwords anything you need to verify NC
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 10:16pm

I have all his passwords to all his account.

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 12:02am

h2k

I'm very sorry this is happening to you. I hope things went better than you expected. If not, we are here for you.

Thomas

I have 5 kids ages 16-10. Our D Day was August, 2008.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 12:50am

The experts and the books say the very first thing that HAS to happen if you have a prayer of this all working out is he has to go NO CONTACT.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 2:40am

He came home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 7:42am

Hugs h2k!

Good for you being strong. Your H now knows he can not "talk" to this person and you mean business. As far as him being confused--how confusing is it to text/call your OW immediately before calling his W? Geez! I would be leery of him saying he isn't sleeping with this OW. He so adamantly insisted he didn't contact her until you told him of your proof.

Have you seen a counselor yourself? That really helped me when I was in your position. It helped me look at my situation more clearly.

hang in there h2k and take care of yourself!

Ollie

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 10:32am

h2k

I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

--William Ernest Henley

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: h2k_mommy
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 11:28am
Good for you. Sometimes they just need time alone to THINK and come to the realization of the situation, not to mention pull their head out of their arse.

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