Help-Bad day today

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Help-Bad day today
22
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 1:57pm

Bad day today.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 10:27pm

I know about a half dozen couples where their marriage fell apart because of cheating and the marriage ended, not one of those affair-starting relationships lasted..... It is rare, if that helps, that it will work out... affairs are addictions and once the excitement is gone, they fall apart.... a relationship that starts as lies, they can't trust eachother....


I know it's tough, my issues of communication get thrown in my face all the time, but really it was his lack or morals, selfishness, and immaturity. Are you getting counseling to work on the issues that "he thinks" you have?


I am really sorry you had a bad day. I've compared myself to HOR, so I know what you are going through... you are wonderful, don't forget that... Let them hit some bad patches in the relationship, she won't ever trust him since he cheated on you.... like I said I think it's 1% chance that these relationships last...


hang in there, everything happens for a reason in life, I got this passage recently in an email...


I don't always get to know why..


I may find myself caught up in wondering why something happened while asking myself, "What did I do wrong?" or "Why did this happen to me?"


If the situation is something I can change, I can plan how to change it. I can look at my options or ask someone else's opinion and ultimately decide what to do. If the situation is one in which I have no control, I might never get to know why it happened. I might have to understand that it just did.


When I'm wondering why, sometimes the hardest answer to accept is that there isn't one. I won't always understand or be given the reasons for certain situations. I will do my best to accept that sometimes things just are the way they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 12:31am

HI, I am so sorry for all the pain you are going through right now. Please know that even though you are in the midst of the pain, THINGS WILL GET BETTER.


It is now time for you to pull up all the strength you have and go see a lawyer. Do not wait around for H to keep hurting you even more. Start doing the things you like to do and show H you are capable of moving on without him. Get out there and exercise, be around people and make sure to eat right.


Also, be prepared that when reality sets in, your H may come crawling back. Many affairs thrive because of the secrecy and the fact that they only see the "good stuff" in each other. There

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:48am
First of all, she didn't "steal" your man - he went willingly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:57am
there is no pleasing some people you could be THE BEST wife in the world and not be able to stop betrayal
somehow your spouse gave himself permission to do the unthinkable, it was in him and ok
this does not reflect on you
his ego was fed and that is all that mattered to him
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:59am
(my opinion)
it sounds like a blessing - you are lucky to get rid of him before you have children
let her have him - he is no prize
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 12:06pm

He says he has feelings for the OW. That says it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 11:04pm

STAY BUSY and write in a journal.... every day... end your entry with things not related to this.... watch a lot of movies.... get a counselor! make a change in your life, go blonde, short, join a new gym... something that starts a new life....


show him what he's missing.... the great person you are, not that angry hurt frustrated woman....


the most important relationship is the one with yourself! the love of your life is you! :)


they both are SELFISH! karma will come back, believe me, it always does.... a relationship built on lies... how can that ever last!


checkout marriage builders, of course they feel like soulmates.... marriage builders even gives examples why they feel like that.... its all psychology and predictable behavoir!


this is what helped me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 10:08pm

Thank you so much. I will try all of those things.


I checked out marriage builders and it was informative. But I got angry after reading about the "love units" or whatever they are called. I got angry at my husband and at me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 11:45pm

I know.... I was mad too when I read that. He said I did nothing wrong.... but I wasn't really happy.... I was thinking what am I still in this relationship... He had some issues to work out, but she didn't care.... she called him her kryptonite and thought he was GOD! He bought her gifts, they partied,


I remember I had lunch with a guy at work. He said WHAT IF, a man was on a business trip... and he's not happy at home, and this woman pays attention to him and his wife never does.... he practically admitted to cheating on his wife.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 8:06pm

Hi Amarina


I felt exactly the same way you did just over two years ago when I found out my wife of 15 years and mother of my three kids was cheating with a violent, deadbeat loser.

Pages