Has anyone run into this?
Since you mentioned that there was a rape in your past, I would contact Rape Crisis even if it was several years ago.
You are not crazy. Even if there was no "touching" they still crossed over the line, and maybe that is okay with the OW in her relationship - it's not okay with Y0U. Your H has to acknowledge what he did was wrong. He has to really show you and RESPECT that you are serious about this issue.
I also agree with Planin - do you belong to a church?
are you affiliated with any religious organization?
often times cities, counties, offer crisis intervention. maybe contact the city hall and ask if they might know of some free sessions that the 2 of you might be able to attend.