Help me figure out what i should do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Help me figure out what i should do
8
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 12:11pm
I just need to get stuff off my chest. My husband of 15 years left me for his first love he found on Facebook. We have 4 kids and I'm alone with them. He is staying at his parents and is coming over to my house at least 4 times a week. We just split 2 weeks ago. I'm so in love with him it hurts. She lives 5 hrs away and they talk on the phone. The cell phone that i pay for. the only reason i keep it on is so that our children can call him. i pay for the car insurance, so he can go to work. i want him back so bad it is killing me inside. trying to be the responsible one sucks. i would do anything for him and have. he's had 2 affairs, that i know of, i forgave him. he treats me like crap, i forgive him. but if he came to me and told me he wanted to come home I'd take him in a heartbeat. how do i stop loving him when he still wants sex from me, still calls me Hon, and then says he loves me.....but he's not in love with me.....I'm so hurt and confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 12:22pm
i also sent a text message to the other woman begging her to leave my husband alone. telling her how much i need him and how much our children need him. she never responded. i wish she would really realize what pain she has caused my family and i pray to god that someday she feels the same pain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 9:49pm
....what about him do you love and miss?...I don't mean this to sound flip, I'm curious though...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2010
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 10:34pm

i discovered my husbands affair 3 months ago that has been going on since november.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 12:14am
So he's already had 2 affairs (that you know of) and is in or working on a 3rd one AND he treats you like crap AND he's not in love with you anymore BUT still wants sex from you. Sweetie, the question is WHY would you want to stay with a man that has no respect for you or your feelings, nor cares what this is doing to his family????
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 7:17am

You know what to do, no one here is going to be able to make choices for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 7:57am

first of all. welcome

second have you thought about seeing a therapist? It might help you get your thoughts straight.

You DESERVE better. Are you staying because of the kids? Im sure you do love him. However after "TWO" affairs this man is not going to change. You need to realize that he is not for you. You are better and deserve better.

Im sorry for your pain and how your feeling I know its hard. You need to start thinking for you now.

Hang in there.
(sorry to be so harsh)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:53am
I miss the way he made me smile. I miss the way he held me at night. I miss the man he USED to be. I talked with a lawyer and told him, he came over and we had a huge fight because of what she told me. He wants joint custody and the lawyer said if they are going to be living with me full time and just visiting him i should have full custody to prevent any future problems. Then he told me he still loves me but doesn't want to be married to me because i'm a crappy wife. I don't clean the house good enough, I don't wear "nice" clothes all the time. I don't wear make-up everyday. I told him to stop blaming me for the problems he's having. I work full time at a factory, where I do welding, I can't really wear "nice" clothes to work and then come home put on a dress and pearls and vaccuum the floor. He blames me for making him an introvert because he's embarrassed to be seen with me. This only started after he started talking with his ex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 11:43am

hugs.

its hard i know. but dont let his nit picking get to you. There is other reasons. This is just him lashing out.

A friend of mine told me to invest in a firemans hat..... and let it roll like rain.

take it one step at a time. hang in there.