help me leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
help me leave
4
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 12:29pm

hi I've never wrote here before in hope you can understand me.I'm 47 widower i stayed alone for 6 yr after my H died then i meet SA we lived together for 4yrs now and its been hell from the start. first we got together because i got pregnant then i lost the baby then i got a life threatening infection and will i was recovering he try-ed to leave and go 300 miles away to his XGFs. he was a drunk but stopped 2 yr ago but traded booze for porn. he's mean, cruel ,hateful and is a liar and he never stopped cheating it has got so bad that he took some b tch he meet on chat line to Vegas to he's daughter wedding (i haven't met his daughter yet).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
In reply to: bluecascade
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 12:38pm
I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a position.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
In reply to: bluecascade
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 3:26pm

I agree with Living. Aren't you worth more that being his whipping boy. He sounds....disturbed. IS there someone you can stay with? A shelter? There is no marriage inviolved youare free to go..so get strong and leave, He will only continue to bring you down.


S

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: bluecascade
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 4:53pm

I'm sorry, I don't know what you have to feel guilty about. You lost the baby, which wasn't your fault, you got sick and rather than being there for you, he leaves you, he treats you like dirt, disrespects you by having As, basically, he is using you and you have what exactly to feel guilty about. I am sure there is a lot you left out of your post that he did to you, but none of that is your fault. You owe him absolutely nothing given how he has treated you.

BTW, this is classic a classic abuser strategy. They abuse and blame you for the abuse. Call a shelter and see if they can help you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: bluecascade
Fri, 01-23-2009 - 11:49am
Sorry to hear what you are going through...I am usually a lurker but your post reminded me of myself several years ago. I was with my x for about seven years and he cheated ALOT, but he also insulted me and abused me verbally. Everytime I talked about breaking up somehow or another he would make me feel guilty about leaving, and it was pretty much that he had no where to go. No one can help you leave or make you leave you just have to be sick and tired of being treated the way you are. You have to find the strength within yourself to leave and not feel guilty.