Houston we have a problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Houston we have a problem
13
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 1:38pm

I have posted before my husband has boundary issues...


Ckurrnet situation..


Went to visit a friend in another state..We will call her jane.. My husband , me and my kids visited jane recently and stayed a few days at her house...Jane is recently divorced and has been my "friend" for 5 years..She used to live by us but moved far away a few years ago.


When we stayed at her house I thought my H and her were too fliry..


Since we have been home she has called my H 3 times and texted him at least once that I know of..She has not called me or texted me...


This stinks all over and I know it.How should I talk to my H about it who thinks I am over jealous about eerything??


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 3:01pm

Okay here is what I did do...I simply texted hikm and said that "i dont understandd why jaane has not called me or texted me, but she is in contact with you? She is supposed to be my friend. what do you think?"


dont worry I have scratched this woman off my list of friends..Did I handle this right and what would you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 3:45pm
If he lies about it, then that's a huge red flag.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 3:56pm

Hi..He did not lie about it..Today Janes friend was texting me, I met her on the visit to Janes house...I thought it odd that Jane did not text me but her friend texted me? So I called my husband and told him I thought it was weird and I asked my husband if Jane or her friend had texted him and he said yes...Her friend asked me when we are going to visit again...ahhhhh how bout n ever..but of course I did not say that....Maybe3 jane put her up tol texting me..who knows...


my problem is that my H sees it as my problem not his..He thinks I am possessive and over jealous..I think he is too flirtatious and has a problem wikth proper boundaries....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 4:01pm
Well did she ever text or keep in contact with your H BEFORE the recent visit? If not, why is she doing it now after the visit. It doesn't sound good that you feel they were flirtatious and now she is texting him. Your H needs to make you feel secure in this marriage now, and him texting another woman is not going to help with that. You are not being over jealous by just wanting to make sure nothing shady is going on between them. That is usually what a husband says to ward off suspicion. He turns it around on you. He is suppose to be an open book now. Does he have a problem with you looking at his texts and calls?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 4:02pm

Question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 4:36pm

Good point..Why is she texting and calling him..I have not even heard from her...I used his phone to text her on the way to her house that is how she has the number..and I no longer consider her a friend after the visit..I know what a freind does and does not do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 5:00pm
I would confront Jane and tell her to stop, that it is making you uncomfortable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 8:09pm

What were the natures of Jane's and Jane's friends calls?


How long did they last?


What did the text/s say?


Why does he say he is IMing his ex-fiance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 12:43am
His telling you that you are overly jealous or controlling is his way of saying "I am really enjoying getting all this attention from other women and don't want to stop getting it so I am going to turn this around on YOU and make it look like YOU are the crazy one here." So maybe you should ask him "if he would be okay with it if YOU were always texting other men behind his back."
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 6:47am

A couple of thoughts to share.

Pages