How did you find out?

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
How did you find out?
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:53pm

On July 14th of this year my spouse asked me if I would go on a walk with her, on this walk she expressed the possibility that I move out and she wanted to explore separating with me for about an hour. As we discussed her reasons that night, she admitted to flirting with a few guys at school and that they made her feel better about herself than I did. Over the next few days I went through the phone records and was not able to find any those guys. But I did find that she was having frequent and long conversations with her High School boyfriend who lived about two hours away in the town she grew up in. Over the next week or so we discussed what it would take for us to stay together. I was making major lifestyle changes and she responded positively to these efforts. On August 5th I inquired about some odd short phone calls to the OM that she made early in the morning on the last morning they contacted each other. I got silence. I asked if she had kissed him, I got silence, then an admission. She said that on July 12th that she rode on the back of a Harley with him while I was with my son's scout troop. She said she kissed him that day. I asked if it went further. It took a moment but she admitted to sleeping with him several times in May and June.

Boom! That was my D-Day!

I’m curious how some of you folks found out about your spouses A.

Edited 11/25/2008 2:55 pm ET by pater_familia


We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:33pm

my wife went out with her best GF and came home like 11pm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 4:06pm

I found out 2/7/07 by happening across a draft of a letter H had written to xOW, ending their 6-month PA.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 4:31pm
My H has had 3 A's that I know of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 4:54pm

August 1st, 2005. One of my friends had seen her leaving the Marriott Long Warf the week before. I love the internet. I ordered a GPS tracking device and a key stroke capture program. I had all of the information I needed. Date, time and place. They came out of the elevator and he saw me and took off like Jesse Owens.

She and I

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 5:07pm

I got a text msg from OW saying something like:

"i know this is the best thing for us but i still love u."

OW claimed that she sent it to me by mistake and meant to send it to my H.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 5:41pm

Which one - 1 or 2?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 5:43pm
My mother in law told me... DDay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 6:54pm
I found out from text messages on his precious phone. We had gone away for the weekend to work on our M and the fugly B### was texting him the entire time.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 9:34pm

...Mother's day...found emails on his work computer from OW to him...professing her undying love for him...He STILL tried to deny it!

I will always have bitter sweet Mother's days now...Call it...the icing on the cake, I guess...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 10:57pm

He minimised his myspace account rather than xing out.