How did you find out?

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
How did you find out?
114
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:53pm

On July 14th of this year my spouse asked me if I would go on a walk with her, on this walk she expressed the possibility that I move out and she wanted to explore separating with me for about an hour. As we discussed her reasons that night, she admitted to flirting with a few guys at school and that they made her feel better about herself than I did. Over the next few days I went through the phone records and was not able to find any those guys. But I did find that she was having frequent and long conversations with her High School boyfriend who lived about two hours away in the town she grew up in. Over the next week or so we discussed what it would take for us to stay together. I was making major lifestyle changes and she responded positively to these efforts. On August 5th I inquired about some odd short phone calls to the OM that she made early in the morning on the last morning they contacted each other. I got silence. I asked if she had kissed him, I got silence, then an admission. She said that on July 12th that she rode on the back of a Harley with him while I was with my son's scout troop. She said she kissed him that day. I asked if it went further. It took a moment but she admitted to sleeping with him several times in May and June.

Boom! That was my D-Day!

I’m curious how some of you folks found out about your spouses A.




Edited 11/25/2008 2:55 pm ET by pater_familia

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 4:17pm

"Alot of us know when something is up .

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2008
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 9:49pm

STBX

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 9:35am
Wow you are awesome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2009
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 10:09am

Hi!

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 11:23am

For me, what helped was counseling, eating right, working out, getting a good book and working the 180 list,

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together/dp/157230801X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240586500&sr=1-1

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rladultery&msg=44278.1&x=y

for others it requires getting a lawyer.

Keep posting and asking questions. There is plenty of help.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Sorting Things Out.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 2:04pm

Ditto on the 180 list, it is a powerful tool.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2009
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 2:19pm

Thank you.

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Sat, 06-06-2009 - 2:40am
bump

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Figuring it out. Together.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2009
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 1:13pm

It's been almost a year.

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 7:58am
bump

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

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