How do I handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
How do I handle this?
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 10:02am

In the past my husband has had issues with having to be the center of attention. If I didn't give him attention he seeked affirmation through online communications and telephone calls. He has not had a physical affair that I know of and he doesn't have unusual unaccounted periods of time where he could. I told him this last time was it. I couldn't take it anymore.

3 years ago, my 2 year old and I travelled half the country to take care of his terminally ill mother (He couldn't leave his job in the military to go). While I was taking care of her I found that he was talking to another woman because he wasn't the center of my attention. Then this past summer I visited my parents and my mother go word that the lump on her shoulder may have been cancer and if it was it was too late to do anything (off topic....what doctor would say such a thing before knowing for sure!) Well he did it again. So I have been shut off emotionally and physically from him for 2 months while he worked on proving to me that he could respect me and the marriage. He is sleeping in the spare room.

This weekend I found out that his female cousin gave him her best friends telephone number and they have been texting back and forth. At first he tried to tell me

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 2:36pm

You have a handful of problems.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for tobermory
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2001
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 8:52am

What is the point of confronting his cousin? The problem isn't the other women -- the problem is your husband, who doesn't seem to be mature enough to handle a grown up relationship. You should figure out what you want and live your own life and stop worrying about him and his activities. Spending this much time on a man who was spending time with another woman while you took care of his mother is fruitless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:57am

The othe rposter is correct, the problem is your husband and his neediness.