How do i know if its the truth

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
How do i know if its the truth
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 6:31pm

Seems like hardly a day can go by without some drama in my life. The H sent me a text - supposedly from the OW.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:05pm
You have to give him time to get over her. Infatuation (or being in love) is a powerful but unreal emotion that makes a person crazy and on a cocaine like high. He needs time to come down from that high and realize what this really is that he was feeling. Right now a old familiar marriage cannot give him the high he got in a new relationship, so it will take time for him to get back to normal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 11:07pm
only YOU know what is best for you
if you cannot live happily
for anyone to feel like they are second best or plan b I dunno
I would not blame you for leaving he is showing resistance to change
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 12:26am

I know just what you're feeling....After dday#2 (same OW) I told H we needed to separate as I knew I could not ever trust him again. After four months and his begging, pleading, promises of NC with the OW, I took him back. But he just could not stop being as AZZZ and I found out at least once a month that he was still in contact with the scum. After the third time, I went beserk and left the house. I too got one of the texts similar to yours. I stupidly believed that he just may finally be ending contact only to find out two months later that contact resumed!!!

He "justification" was that the PA was over (this I was sure of) but that the XOW had "feelings too". So her broken heart was more important than mine????

Anyway, have you looked at the "180"? You will find it on a recent repost in

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 6:38am

Hugs Intelirish, Well you don't know that what he is telling you is the truth. So far it hasn't been! I'm glad you found the 180 list I reposted. I know it sounds hard but you can do it as so many of us have. Take it one step at a time it will empower you. When I did it I came to the realization that I would be ok with or without my ex h. I am grateful I found this board because it saved me. I had moved to another town with my exh and didn't know anyone there yet. Please lean on all of us who have been in your shoes and listen to the many wise people on this site.

You definitely do not need to be the 'fall back person' in your H's craziness. I would tell him so. The OW doesn't care about you and is also a liar. I wouldn't waste my breath calling her--it is just giving your power away to someone else.

It's time to take back your own power! do the 180!

many hugs, Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 7:30pm

First of all, don't worry how often or why you are posting.