how do you do the 180 with kids?

Pookybean

I think the 180 is about two things, putting out a vibe to your spouse that you are going to be just fine without him/her. The second part is about teaching yourself to be just fine without them and If they can learn to behave, we might let them back into our lives. And when we do, it will be on our terms.

Our children will also see that we are doing fine with or without them and that's usually communicated back the spouse.

Becoming strong and independent is attractive and promotes well being. It's the hard work we have to do as a BS. The WS has their own work to do. The 180 is used as a wake up call for the WS. It helps them come out of their fog and into the real world where there is responsibility and consequences for choices.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you can cope as you go through this. We are here for you. Keep posting.