how do you do the 180 with kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
how do you do the 180 with kids?
4
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 12:33am

hello, im pretty new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 9:42am

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 9:53am
Welcome just never seems like the right thing to say here, but I'm glad that as long as you have this awful reality in your life you were able to find this place where everyone understands the situation and supports each other.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 11:45am

thank you for your responses,

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 6:07pm

Pookybean

I think the 180 is about two things, putting out a vibe to your spouse that you are going to be just fine without him/her. The second part is about teaching yourself to be just fine without them and If they can learn to behave, we might let them back into our lives. And when we do, it will be on our terms.

Our children will also see that we are doing fine with or without them and that's usually communicated back the spouse.

Becoming strong and independent is attractive and promotes well being. It's the hard work we have to do as a BS. The WS has their own work to do. The 180 is used as a wake up call for the WS. It helps them come out of their fog and into the real world where there is responsibility and consequences for choices.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you can cope as you go through this. We are here for you. Keep posting.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.