How do you handle the ANGER???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
How do you handle the ANGER???
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 10:32pm

I am still new to this. I put the pieces together 3 weeks ago and I am so mad I want to beat the crap out of my W's boss. I literally want to go into their office (a very large company) and beat him the cafeteria infront of everyone. I want to hurt this pr*ck so bad that he will never look at another married woman.

I can't stand looking at my W and she told me that she is moving out to her sister's this weekend. I offered to help her pack today.

Everyone found out in the last 7 days. Her parents, my parents, her brothers & sisters

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 8:01am

Romans 12:17-21

17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.


You have to deal with your anger or it will eat you up.

Here are my positive

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 8:13am

"OM now has his own world of pain to deal with. His W now knows and I told her that I am going after him via his job. "

I would just leave it at that.

My opinion is that OM/OW's spouse should know what is going on.

Just leave it at that, and walk away from it.

No matter how much harm you try to bring upon OM, you'll never extract a tiny piece of mind.

He's probably in a much worse situation than you are right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 8:50am

BrianM..Thanks for the help. OM has dug himself into a major hole. He is going to loose everything.

Right now I am playing "Dad the taxi"..Call me PTA/Ballet/Karate/Gymnastics/Field Hockey Dad. I had to have map out where the girls were going to be this week. Dates, times and locations. I am learning so many roads that is funny.

I have joined a real gym. I hit the heavy and speed bags. Doing alot of jumprope to burn off the anger.

How are you doing? I hope you are well.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 9:23am

Raging Bull,

My wife cheated on me a few years ago. I've been through the same crap you are going through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 9:55am

"How are you doing?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:08am

You are in my prayers....I can't believe that we have to deal with this BS. Your situation freightens me the most.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:14am

HTA...The fact that she brought this scum into OUR house and into OUR bed. It still gives me a headache.

Right now the Master Bedroom looks like a disaster area. The wall to wall carpet is up and I will have the hardwood floors redone. But first I am am having the wallpaper stripped and the room will be repainted with something that I LIKE. The bathroom is also getting a make over.

If she ever comes back there are going to be alot of changes.

Right now I don't want to think about what happens in 30 to 60 days. I know her parents and her attorney don't want me to do anything.

How did you do it? It still

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 11:14am

Hi Raging Bull
I just read your posts, glad you are settling down :)
You do what you need to do, do not take criticism from the Priest or anyone else.
Tell who you need to tell. The OM wife should know - your family if you want should know.
The OM should have to face consequences for his behavior at the work place, not necessarily sexual harassment but conduct that a 'boss' SHOULD BE punished for.
NO ONE but you knows what you need to do to heal.
You did not ask for any of this.
One BS to another (Betrayed Spouse)
I support you 100%
Take care of yourself and enjoy the blessing of your children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 11:42am
Thank You so much..It never dawned on me that this happens to soo many people..Unbelievable...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 4:59pm

Hi Jack,

Was gone for 5 days on a