How do you handle the ANGER???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
How do you handle the ANGER???
46
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 10:32pm

I am still new to this. I put the pieces together 3 weeks ago and I am so mad I want to beat the crap out of my W's boss. I literally want to go into their office (a very large company) and beat him the cafeteria infront of everyone. I want to hurt this pr*ck so bad that he will never look at another married woman.


I can't stand looking at my W and she told me that she is moving out to her sister's this weekend. I offered to help her pack today.


Everyone found out in the last 7 days. Her parents, my parents, her brothers & sisters

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Sun, 01-25-2009 - 2:40pm

CF,


I loved your post and agree and feel as you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Sat, 01-24-2009 - 9:17am

"""Can I ask a question? Why rebuild?"""


I decided to rebuild because I have been with my H for a long time. During that time he was the greatest man I have ever known. He f-ed up really bad by having the A, but he is so remorseful and he is doing everything to make me realize that he is still the greatest man I know but he is imperfect. He made horrible decisions but that is not who he is. Our M before the A was wonderful. Being with him was the safest place I have known and I love him with all of my heart.


I have learned that forgiveness, although it is sooooooo HARD, can be one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. There are people who are naturally evil and intend to do harm to others, and there are people who are good but sometimes loose their way and make really dumb choices. My H was in pain when he had his A. It wasn't about me, it was something within himself; but I know that he still is a wonderful person. We are working through our issues and we are both determined to fill the gaps in our M and make it better than ever. When I think about growing old, I want him to be there by my side with me forever. Although, in rebuilding, sometimes I just want to throw him out, most of the time I don't want to live without him and I know he feels the same way about me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Fri, 01-23-2009 - 3:22pm

CF..That is one of the hardest things I am dealing with. It is also the reason the reason I moved the Master Bedroom and Living Room sets out of my home.


When I think about it I get so d*mn angry. The level of betrayal is staggering at times.


Can I ask a question? Why rebuild?


Jack

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Fri, 01-23-2009 - 1:33pm

<>


This is what gets to me the most. I cannot believe that my dumb A husband had S with that slut in the same bed we slept in every night. What were they thinking??


I really try to wrap my brain around what he was thinking when they were "doing it" in our bed!


Ugh! Tell me again why I'm rebuilding with this idiot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 2:36pm

Hi Jack,


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 9:11am
Thank You...How long have you been rebuilding....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 4:59pm

Hi Jack,


Was gone for 5 days on a

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 11:42am
Thank You so much..It never dawned on me that this happens to soo many people..Unbelievable...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 11:14am

Hi Raging Bull
I just read your posts, glad you are settling down :)
You do what you need to do, do not take criticism from the Priest or anyone else.
Tell who you need to tell. The OM wife should know - your family if you want should know.
The OM should have to face consequences for his behavior at the work place, not necessarily sexual harassment but conduct that a 'boss' SHOULD BE punished for.
NO ONE but you knows what you need to do to heal.
You did not ask for any of this.
One BS to another (Betrayed Spouse)
I support you 100%
Take care of yourself and enjoy the blessing of your children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:14am

HTA...The fact that she brought this scum into OUR house and into OUR bed. It still gives me a headache.


Right now the Master Bedroom looks like a disaster area. The wall to wall carpet is up and I will have the hardwood floors redone. But first I am am having the wallpaper stripped and the room will be repainted with something that I LIKE. The bathroom is also getting a make over.


If she ever comes back there are going to be alot of changes.


Right now I don't want to think about what happens in 30 to 60 days. I know her parents and her attorney don't want me to do anything.


How did you do it? It still

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