How to get my wife to go to counseling??
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 02-06-2009 - 12:37pm |
Okay, so I've posted a couple of messages about the struggles my wife and I have faced over the past 6-8 months and I've had a lot of great feedback, so I thought I would raise other questions that I have in hopes of getting some more helpful advice. The short version of the story is that my wife had at least an AF with a coworker and the wheels fell off of what I thought (and my wife used to agree) was a wonderful relationship. The relationship become very volatile (lots of arguing and no pleasant times together) for several months until I decided to go about it another way (i.e. stopped confronting her every time I saw/noticed/suspected something) and we began to become friends again, though she was against going to counseling....I think because she was afraid to own up to her actions.
Anyway, in the past few weeks, she has expressed and interest in going to counseling and has said that she wants our marriage to work. I think that her going to counseling will be a HUGE help and is probably the only thing that will allow her to get past that last bit of hard feelings where she seems to be stuck and push forward. BUT, now I'm in the position where I don't want to keep pushing the idea on her going to a counselor for fear of scaring her off. I also don't want to not push it and let her slide backwards. Any suggestions on how to handle this delicate situation? I can almost see daylight here, but we have more work to do before we're there. Has anybody else experienced this? If so, have you found a way to gently nudge your spouse in that direction without dragging them?
I
1st time around I scheduled counselling with an EAP counsellor, she agreed to go- the counsellor was terrible and probably did as much harm as she did good.
That's great!