How long does it take?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
How long does it take?
3
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 11:46am

I haven't been back for a long time. Thought I could do this on my own. H gets frustrated and asks "Why is this taking so long" or "Why haven't you gotten over it by now" or "How long is this going to take"? It will have been two years in Sep since I found out about his indescretions. I kept it secret

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 3:29pm
Sorry that you are still suffering, but honestly, our MC said "It takes as long as it takes."
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 6:38pm
We have been going to MC. The first two were unable to help us, and we're being sent to someone with a different approach. I know we can be successful. I am trying so hard and searching for answers from as many sources as possible. My H. is stubborn and has not really committed emotionally and mentally to the difficult work that needs to be done. He talks the talk and is able to portray a good front to the MC. I see what he is doing and let him know, and then he gets mad. He is trying, and I acknowledge his efforts. I realize
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Wed, 07-29-2009 - 10:49am
Sorry to hear your situation. The day after I found out (2 days ago now) my dh found me crying and asked me what's wrong. He truly didn't seem to know. When I explained that my dh and my bff had both betrayed me and only yesterday and that it would take me a bit to get over, he was like oh ok ok sorry sorry. But still doesn't seem to get how hurt I am. Maybe because I didn't just kick him out he thinks I'm OK with it. Sometimes men are so thick :(
Good for you for sticking with your counseling and be sure you let your dh know what kind of support you need. I plan to write mine an email right now.