Not sure where to start.
With one exception, your story up to the point of your husband telling you he's gay is EXACTLY what my wife told me when she wanted to separate and refused to go to counselling.
Thankyou for your response. I am 99% positive that he is not having any other relationships right now or at least up to when he told me 1 month ago today. He said he was never going to tell me and live the "lie" but when we were in a fight i still did nice things for him and he said he felt guilty and its not fair to me. I deserve somone who will treat me right in all aspects of my life. Up till he told me I knew where he was at at all times. Other that work and working out he was always home with us.
I know that you are hurting over this. It is not fair. I am sure this is not what you pictured your future looking like. But at least you know now and can start making a new plan for your future.