I feel so betrayed

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
I feel so betrayed
1
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 12:10pm

Before my husband and I got married 3 years ago I created us both myspace profiles so we could stay connected with friends, and make some new ones. little did I know that would be the biggest mistake of my life!

I am a person that gets along with my ex's and when my hubbys ex found him 26 yrs after their relationship ended I didnt think anything of it....well little did I know they were talking on the phone when my husbands phone would ring and it said bear i thought it was one of his friends but as time went on and the calls became more frequent I began to get a gut instinct that something was wrong!

so one morning I got his phone while he was sleeping and saw 3 calls in the middle of the night, so I checked his voicemail low and behold it was a woman asking if it was supposed to hurt so much. I called her back when she answered I said who is this? she asked who I was and I told her my name she hung up on me and turned off her phone.

I stormed into my bedroom and woke my husband up yelling, when he told me to give him his phone the answer was no, and I left with his phone. I figured out who she was his ex for long ago. We fired emails between us blah blah and in the end we have gotten into arguments about him being my husband, etc.

I know this woman drinks cause when she drinks she starts calling and I'm not talking about 2 or 3 calls we are talking 11 voicemails in 45 minutes saying things like I love you with all my heart give me her phone number so i can get this off my chest, think back 26 yrs and choose, you have until 10 pm your time to call me back or i'm done.

she is still calling, we did have a long talk the other night I explained a few things to her she said she would stop calling, and I was deleting her number from his phone, she apologized for pushing herself into my marriage . How long did you think that lasted? 45 minutes she started calling again.

I don't know what is going to happen to my marriage, I have been lied too and I don't think I can get over that. I am a liberal when it comes to certain things but an ex calling that you tell you love them is over the biggest line to me I feel so betrayed!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 12:22pm
The sad fact of it all is that your husband has to be the one to end it with her. You can tell her to stop until you are blue in the face, but if he doesn't make it crystal clear that it is to end........then it won't. I don't understand some men. They don't seem to see things until it has smacked them in the face. You can't take his phones away, or anything else. He has to stop on his own. You can tell him how it makes you feel, and then hope it makes him do the right thing. I wouldn't talk to her anymore..I would talk to him. Saving the marriage begins with people in the marriage not the outsiders.