I suspect my mom is cheating on my dad - what do I do???
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|Thu, 06-12-2014 - 11:46am|
I’ll begin with a little history…
A few years ago my mother mentioned to me her desire to separate from my father, due to lack of love, irreconcilable differences, etc. Basically she was falling out of love with him.
My dad had a problem with alcohol in the past which caused difficulties, but no physical nor verbial abuse, just difficulty to live with in an inebriated state. He has since been sober for over 7 years.
They are no longer affectionate with one another, even though it looks like my dad still tries. My mom’s b-day was in March and he bought her a ring. She returned/sold it and bought an iPad instead, without telling my dad.
More recently, I have noticed she has been more protective with her phone (keeping it on her person, passcode, etc.). I have caught her a few times going into an empty room and texting. Also, when I was there last with my girlfriend, she excused herself to her bedroom b/c she wanted to go to bed, so we left. But when I called her soon after to ask her something, there was the tone that tells you she was on the phone. And she didn’t call me back after.
**What hurts and bothers me the most about this is that my dad recently had open heart surgery, and unfortunately is dealing with complications as a result which is making his recovery very slow. My mother is attending to his physical needs, but it’s clear there is a wide emotional distance, when what my dad needs the most right now is emotional support to keeps his spirits up while he is going through this.
Now I am stuck as to what to do…
Should I do nothing and just let it go, and hope my dad is getting the support he needs? Or that the two of them have had a talk and understanding that my mother might talk/see other people?
Or should I say something to my mother? If so, how do I bring it up? Should be direct and upfront about what I see and interpret? Should I write all of my thoughts and concerns down and have her address them to me with some organized thought?
I don’t know if I should speak to my brother about this. He is my brother from my dad’s previous marriage, so no matter what he would take my dad’s side. I don’t want to create a rift or division in my family, but I don’t want to see my dad experience this, esp. in his delicate condition.