Sorry I haven't been around in eons.
I guess sometimes we just have to reach a place where staying is more painful that going.
Good for you, Christy!
i remember you as one of the older posters (not necessarily old as in age but one who started posting long ago).
so GOOD to hear from you christy - so GOOD to read within the context of your words that christy has found christy again.
yes, i remember you well..................... i remember how lost you felt and how very hard you tried to keep your marriage. and yes, i do remember how TERRIBLE your stbx treated you.
i would like to say after reading your response to me this morning i was thinking - you should be the poster child/woman for all of us - you and my dear friend gwtwfan - you both are inspirational. have you watched the tv series 'the good wife?' - well you remind me of her and the others we have seen emerge recently who are NOT standing by their man, because IT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU. i am NOT saying that ALL WOMEN SHOULD LEAVE - but what i am thinking is this,,,,,,,,,,,,,, women need to begin to understand that ALL WOMEN SHOULD NOT STAY. it is in fact a personal choice, but many do, they stay for the kids, they stay because of financial barriers, they stay for this and they stay for that. and yes, i am one of them. you taking the time to come back and share with us your decision will show many that there is more than just one door - that they do have options.
your new friend is proof that women can once again find self. so often we, as women, give so much of ourselves to our husbands and children that we forget to even think to ask for ANYTHING for ourselves. and God forbid we should take matters into our own hands and take, oh my goodness no, women do not take they give, that is what they do. this sentence reminds me of a belief that men are simply programmed to cheat, you know the old cave man mentality - i see, i want, i take - oh, the woman at home cooking the dinner - don't worry about her - she is only my wife. the belief that this is how it has always been - well, hell, that alone should show us it is time for a change.
it must be nice to have someone who cares about you again, cares about what you need, wants to be there for you, thinks you are special enough to go out of their way to make you happy. and i am sure you being you are responding in kind - doing all of the little things we women do to show appreciation to men who treat us well.
living life WITHOUT drama. no more need to check emails, phone logs - i had forgotten about that time in my life. a time when i believed in happily ever after, believed that this man was the 'coolest' thing since sara lee banana cake (ha ha), a time when checking his email or phone log never entered my mind. BUT THINK, CHRISTY, THINK ABOUT HOW MANY WOMEN ARE ON THIS WHEEL, JUST LIKE GERBELS RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES. getting up checking to see what he was doing on the computer way into the night, going on line and checking his cell phone account WHO IS CALLING, HOW LONG IS HE TALKING TO THEM, wondering where he is going when he leaves who he is going to see, what are they doing?????????????????? you must feel as though you have lost a tremendous amount of weight off of your very heart, soul, and mind.
scared? it takes a great deal of hoofspa to leave, and i am sure that you are loving the christy you had forgotten lived within you - you must be, and should be most proud of the woman within. AS WE ALL ARE. so, do not be scared, because you see, you have already found the strength that existed all along.
the future is just sitting out there waiting for you - whether you ultimately end up single, married, or living a loving caring life with a significant other. fun, laughter, light heartedness, appreciation for the small but real things in life, loving children, a new home (decorated the way YOU want it) - with a lawn mowed hopefully by a young hard body while you sit and sip on a mint julip (ha ha), loving family, and caring nurturing friends. this is the future i see for you.
enjoy christy, you deserve it and are so worth it.
and believe me when i say i am in awe.
i am thinking how much help you could be if you continued to post from time to time. serving as a beacon of hope to others who find themselves on this helpful but painful board. a success story so to speak, that all is not lost.
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU.
Yes, you are the poster I was speaking of.
i am thinking i am the 'older woman, whose husband has a garden'. funny, never been referred to as the 'older woman' but, hell if the shoe fits wear it. ha ha
i am soooooooooooo happy for you. good things happen to good people. BUT, and yes there is a BUT========== now i did not get offended by being referred to as older woman so i am hoping my thoughts will NOT offend you - PLEASE TAKE IT SLOW. you are vulnerable right now, your world as you knew it was shaken, you tried and tried.
you are a special young woman gal christy, you deserve platinum - not fools gold; and i am NOT saying that your friend is anything other than what he is saying he is, yet and however i want you to promise us that you will protect yourself until and unless he shows you thru his actions that he is worthy of the specialness in you.
you keep smiling, and you stay happy. tomorrow is promised to no one, we only go around one time and this is no dress rehearsal - love you first and always. when a person is truly loved by self, then and only then will they ever know true happiness.
i wish you many happy tomorrows and all beautiful sunsets.
sissy aka planin2liv
Thank you M-to-go for your replies.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!! Happy news!!!!! I don't know you but that made my day!!!!! I'm to the point in saying screwing it to!!! No Pun Intended!! LOL That probably wasn't very nice.......I feel a little feisty this morning.