It happens again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
It happens again...
7
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 6:32pm

I have been on this board in the past and I hate that I am here again. My husband has already cheated on me twice. The first time I found out from his behavior and email. The second time he finally told me once we seperated. This time it was with my cousin.

We began hanging out recently and it was so much fun; she is married and we are married and we both have a kid. We were made for each other and that is how much fun we were having. And then Jordyn (my cousin) and Joe ( my husband) were flirting too much. And then Jordyn mentioned that we should switch partners. That is not my thing or my husbands ( I believed anyway) but they were both for it and even though her husband and I were against it, the jokes and flirting escalated. They began sneaking away for small amounts of time and then the texting became less than innocent.

I asked for a break from hanging out with them to focus on Joe and I because their texting and flirting was hurting our relationship. He refused and left for his parents. A few days later, I found out he was staying with them. He husband works alot. It was inevitable. They have been sleeping together for two weeks and even doing it next to her husband.

I am beyond disbelief and I dont know what my next move will be. How many times can a person be cheated on and for it to be ok?

Tiffany Sarah

<div><a target=_blank href=http://www.pregnology.com/pregnancy/10/30/2009><img border=0 width=450 height=185 src='http://www.pregnology.com/preggoticker2/777777/000000/M

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 1:51am

I would say after 3 times that he has proven himself to be a serial cheater and it's not going to stop anytime soon. You have 2 choices here 1) stay with him and put up with his cheating. 2) leave him and find a man you can trust

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 9:59am

it is never ok

this is abusive to you - get out get yourself together and be no mans doormat ever again

don't glorify this man in your mind he is what he is

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 12:51pm

Big ((HUGS)) to you, engagedsenior.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 7:10pm

EngagedSenior,

It is just too darned bad that good and caring people like you (and many others on this board) have to live through that kind of treatment to get to a better life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 1:06am
He's blowing off YOUR feelings about this entirely, that speaks volumes. None of this had to happen, he chose it and it will kill your marriage, period. The answer to your last line: zero. It's never okay. This sounds kind of sick to me, to tell you the truth. If her husband was against this wife swapping thing, what the heck is he doing in bed with them? I'd be thinking more is going on here than it appears. I wish you luck, in your shoes my DH would have come home and found all his belongings in the yard, hopefully in the rain.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 6:14pm

Thank you for all of the responses. I have had alot of time to reanalyze my entire relationship with my husand. We began dating at 16 and have been together since for the exception of our seperation, but even then we were around each other consistently,so it wasnt a real seperation.

I just finished reading "On Your Own Again" by Keith Anderson and just got it in the mail last Thursday. It is a very good read and keeps you interested not only in the personal stories but also the way that he speaks to the concerns we all have when considering seperation or divorce.

I have to admit that it is extremely hard for me to consider a divorce; for me it means defeat. Or that I am giving up. On the other hand, not getting a divorce can mean that I am defeating or giving up on myself. I can ultimately say that I will no longer be giving up on myself. And I hope the best for everyone in this position as well. Even if you want to work on your marriage, this book can give you a new perspective on acheiving an "adult" relationship instead of an "adolescent" one.

Even with my uncertianity of how my relationship will turn out- I see a laywer tomorrow- I will figure out soon what is in the best interest for me and for my son. I have to admit that I have had an enormous amount of apprehension with being on my own since I have never really been- moving from home to marriage at 18. Add to that the fact that I have been suffering from anxiety and unale to drive for many years- I just got my license last October and have only been driving for the last month fully- for some reason I believe that I can do it. And if I can do it. then many others can.

We don't know our strength until we are pushed into a situation and we only have ourselves to help us out.

Thank you again and I will let everyone knows how things go.

Tiffany Sarah

<div><a target=_blank href=http://www.pregnology.com/pregnancy/10/30/2009><img border=0 width=450 height=185 src='http://www.pregnology.com/preggoticker2/777777/000000/M

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Fri, 04-15-2011 - 10:25pm