It never seems to end (long sorry)
Find a Conversation
|Fri, 07-03-2009 - 11:49pm|
I am new to this board and I really wish I wasnt (no offense but who really wants to find themselves here lol)
A little bit of background first. Me and my husband have been together for 17 years, married for 7. We have two beautiful little girls together. 3 years ago there was this girl who kept going into his work (he is a dj in a bar) and they started talking more and more. I became friends with her as well and all three of us were pretty close and she eventually became my primary babysitter. Her and my husband eventually fell for each other and started an affair. Long story short, we separated.
Fast forward a year later, him and I reconciled. I moved back into our home but he couldnt live here because of problems with the babysitter he left me for (she was pissed we were getting back together and had him arrested for harassment which was completely dropped when he went to court) So he comes home at the end of April. Things were great for a week until I found chat logs from him and a female friend of his. I found out that they have been sleeping together for almost 2 years. I knew at one point they were sleeping together and on his end it was just sex, on her end it was complete infatuation, borderline obsession. I had believed him for the longest time that it was over and done with. STUPID ME! I basically told him that we were done. Infidelity was the reason we split up in the first place and it took me a lot to pick up the shattered pieces and even more when I decided to forgive him and I was not going to put me or my kids back in the same potential situation that we barely made it through before. After a few days and a lot of fighting, I told him that I would try one more time but under no circumstances was he to have any contact with her at all. I understand he cant control her coming into his work and hanging out all day (she is a loser who hangs out at a bar all day just to be near him instead of working or worrying about her own kids)but he doesnt need to talk to her when she is there. I thought that he understood this but Im finding out that he is still communicating with her, she drives him home after work and he still doesnt get home until 4am and the bar closes at 2. I cant prove any of this because she drops him off no where near the house so I cant see it but I know. I have confronted him about this and he says she is just a friend and he wants her to do better for herself and blah blah blah. I have asked him how he feels that its ok for him to continue a friendship with a woman he had an affair with and how Im supposed to find it acceptable. He didnt have an answer.
I dont want to do this anymore. I honestly tried but I dont know how to end it. I cant believe him when he tells me that he has no contact with her. I used to go through his phone, computer etc but he is smarter than that and deletes everything. I cant prove or disprove anything. I feel like Im going crazy here :-( Any input would be great. Thanks everyone.