It's been just a little under a week since I found out my new husband cheated I am so confused
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| Sun, 02-05-2012 - 5:50pm |
So as many of you on here understand, I am in a real bad place in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I have been married for a little less than 6 months, prior to getting married we have been together for 5 years and living together for 4. We had a huge elaborate beautiful wedding and a very romantic honeymoon. I am 31 and he is 28, we have done everything right we waited for a while before we decided to get married we were waiting until we were married to have children, we had marriage counseling before we got married. We both wanted this marriage together there was no me pushing him of be honest it was the other way around he was the one who wanted to hurry and get married. Well without getting into the specifics, he left last weekend to go on a trip that he does every year with his brother and a couple friends, its a snowmobiling trip. I was reviewing our phone bill this last Monday to see if we were over our minutes when I discovered he had been making phone calls to someone while he was gone at 2am and then text the next couple days. He was still on his trip when I discovered this so I called him and asked, at first he hesitated then after I told him I would call her and find out the truth he confessed. I did eventually call the number and speak with the other women and she confirmed exactly what my husband had said. The story goes, on Friday he and his brother and their two friends went out this women approached the group of them, they had all been drinking a lot (like that's a good excuse) and when it was time to go my husband had a full beer and the women offered to drive him back so everyone else could leave. Once back at the hotel my husband went to leave her car and she pulled him back in and performed oral sex on him, there was no actual intercourse, again that doesn't make it any better. He did not tell his brother or anyone what had happened and the following two days the guys kept asking him to contact her to meet up with them again. On Sunday evening she did meet up with them again and my husband pulled her to the side and told her he was married and was sorry for what he had done, apparently she said she didn't care and he pushed her away and left. This is confirmed through his telephone records she continued to text
Hi le5820,
Just because someone has options doesn't mean he/she did make a mistake.
She's not to blame, he is.
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Yes I understand it's up to me, that's what I am struggling with. I guess time will just tell if I can stay or if I need to leave. And trust me I do not think he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing, or that he was forced in any way to do what he did, and if he even tried to use that as his reason why I wouldn't be on here asking for advice, I would just leave. I read a lot of stories of long marriages and children involved and affairs that last months. I am deeply sadden by this, and so sorry for anyone whom has to go through that. And this is where my struggle begins, I am not in that situation I have no children I have a long relationship but only a short marriage and my husband had a fling not a long drawn out affair. I have found very little online for help with this type of situation. And am just in need of advice from someone who has been in a similar situation, did you stay or did you go? I have no time frame on when I will decide and my husband understands that I cannot for sure tell him one way or another I just wish I could make a decsion so that I can start to move on in either direction I choose.
For now though, try not to think about it too much and concentrate on studying for your test. GOOD LUCK.