its been a year

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
its been a year
7
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 4:34pm

i found out a year ago that my husband has had multiple affairs, we have been married for 16 years, 2 children. He was my best friend and I thought though we had our ups and downs that we were happy and in love. Since he came to me he with this news i have had confusion about leaving. I have done everything to get rid of the awful visions and nightmares. I like him very much, but there is a feeling of disgust when i am with him. I don't really want to leave I just don't know how to stay without hurting us all with my own unhappiness. I cant fake it forever


Everyone else seems to have adjusted and is happy, he apologized and all that


i just don't feel it anymore, will these feelings ever come back

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: onlyme68
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:35pm

Have the two of you been to counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
In reply to: onlyme68
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 9:43pm

I was very disgusted for the first two months. It's been three.... and his A was over

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: onlyme68
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 11:02pm
When did he come and tell you? Why did he tell you? Did you find something out? Don't decide anything in the 1st 3 months - you're on an awful roller coaster ride during that time, and no one is thinking straight. Hang in there. It's not easy I know - thinking of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: onlyme68
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 7:47am

I was reading through the other posts and I ran across your reply to thinkingman.


my H has been lying to me a long time but just like you, he has given me access to all the info i need , I just dont feel like i even care enough to check


if its real ok good but if its not and its just another manipulation then I am ready for that too.


This got me to thinking that maybe you were looking for something different than the reponse that I gave you.


When you love someone and they do something awful and ugly it is normal to feel extreme hurt, anger and the spectrum of emotions.


When it happens over and over.... the being lied to ...the manipulation...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
In reply to: onlyme68
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 3:42pm

well i think

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
In reply to: onlyme68
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 3:49pm

i still feel gross sometimes, and its been a year, the holiday that past and my birthday thats coming up makes me feel sick inside because of where he was last year. I will try a montra , I do it sometimes, over and over. Sometimes it actually makes me laugh even though its not funny. Like im 5 years old

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
In reply to: onlyme68
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 5:37pm

That is really good info and i am making a decision to get counceling


and i love the idea of the bule print. Im going to work on that right away


but its still soooooo hard to even comprehend that this has happened