The "its over" letter

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2009
The "its over" letter
20
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 6:31pm

Ive read on a few websites that one advised approach for recovery is to have my wife write a letter to the OM saying in clear, unemotional, black and white terms that she doesnt want to have contact with him, see him, or in any way communicate with him again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 7:51pm
I had this discussion with my therapist the other day. She said that this was one of the things that my wife should do. I personally would send it. It would let the man know that your wife is serious about working out her marriage. Would you feel better if you sent it? if so, send it. Your in a good spot my friend. Your wife is giving you all access to her life which is good. My wife is still as secretive as the day I found out. Good luck.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 9:57pm

Thanks for the encouragement bornagain, and hopefully your wife soon will open up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 12:11am

Absolutely SEND IT!!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 12:59am
Hi, I really feel for
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 10:18am
I would send it to his home - I like the "fate" concept.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 12:22pm
I am still stuck on this concept. I really don't mean to sound negative but there is a flaw in this. If your S writes the letter and you send it., who is to say that they will not continue contact. This is my fear and I know not everyones situation is the same. But didn't we all get here because lying and betrayal? I know its a huge trust issue and I guess I'm stuck right now in that mode. I would love it if my wife were at that point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 2:53pm
I'm not sure I understand your point about "how we got here".

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 3:44pm

By "how we got here" I mean that our spouses betrayeal was based in lies and deception. Otherwise they would not have been able to accomplish it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 3:46pm

I think the point regarding this letter possibly encouraging contact is a good question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Wed, 07-01-2009 - 12:46pm

bigninerfan


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