Just Found Out about his affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Just Found Out about his affair
8
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 8:26am

Good morning,


I am not used to posting in this matter, but I find myself in a difficult situation. We have been married for 5 years have a 3 yr old son and this past weekend I discovered my husband is having an affair, or had...he now claims to have ended it yesterday with this woman he met on Facebook through a friend.


We have been through a lot in our marriage, and I thought that the rough times are what would solidify us. Meanwhile he has been talking, texting, IMing this other woman. They were not "old" friends from college, buddies from back home, she lives in the same city we do and they have a "mutual" friend. He didnt just talk and message her, he shared about our relationship and told her many intimate things about us as well as lies...that we were practically divorced, and I am a bad mother that stays out all hours of the night...which is so not true...he's the one out at the gym all the time.


TO make matters worse, he actually met this woman. Per him, it was one time in a local place. When we talked (you know I called her after all the I miss you texts, and "your the woman

Avatar for zephyr893
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 10:00am

Welcome to the boards. It's been a while since I've posted here, as my husband had an affair back in early '08. A little background...


We'll be four married four years

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 10:18pm

Thank you for taking the time to share with me. I am still so numb right now and crying inside while my son is up and outside when no one is looking. She contacted him last night and he claims to not read her text. I just dont get it, and now I am looking at her facebook page and it hurts so much more.


She looks so happy and is so pretty, my self esteem is so low....I have no reason but it always helps if the OW looks like shes no match...shes a match and he went there. I feel so inadequate as a wife, woman, etc. 've always desired him and he doesnt me and knowI know why.


I feel like I cant even concentrate on my son, my bestfriend (her husband also

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 12:15am
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have joined a club nobody wants to be a member of - your spouse has cheated on you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 12:23am
That's a great line there - when they are unhappy, they seek attention elsewhere - with no strings.

 

Avatar for zephyr893
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 9:44am

I agree totally with all the other posters. And trust me, I know that numb, sick feeling, where you literally cannot believe it's happening. And how

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 7:30am
Welcome to the board - I'm sorry you find yourself here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2009
Sun, 05-17-2009 - 1:24am

i went through exactly the same thing with my ex. I also spoke to his

vlshel
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Sun, 05-17-2009 - 7:52am

Well, you know everyone's world has caved in here so you are not alone. What to do is to first take it slow,

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