Kids Meeting Mistress for First Time? Spending Time Together?

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Kids Meeting Mistress for First Time? Spending Time Together?
3
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 5:10pm

HOW do you deal w/this?    I'm afraid I'm going to have to.

Hub aims on marrying AP as soon as we're divorced.    I want to say in the custody arrangements that MY kids & SHE can NOT spend time together.   If it's found that they have - he forfeits custody.      IS this even plausible?

But anyway - esp. when the new couple is the result of an affair behind your back ---- HOW do you deal with them potentially meeting, spending time w/her?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005

Hi there,

Sorry you are going through this!

I think it depends in what state you live in. My STBXH is also continuing to see the mistress (she lives overseas, so I don't worry about the kids spending time with her..yet). However, here in CA the judges don't get involved in the bedroom..so to say. Here your x can not tell you or you can not tell your x when and with whom to spend time with and have overnight visits as long as this person is not a convcited felon, does drugs (you would need to prove) or can be harmful to your kids in any way.

Think about yourself ini the long run too please..what if you meet someone and want to move in with that person after awhile, then per your own rules you wouldn't be able to do so.

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
I hope you are right about it ending at some point. Somehow, I feel his will be that 1-2% that make it..... :smileysad:

Good idea about the overnite guests/opp sex.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008

Hi sweet,  Is your stbxh's OW divorce in process?  It could take a while for everything to 'fall into place' for the two of them but if it does as Myra said it is a very, very slim chance that the relationship would work.  My exh's OW dumped him after about 6 months.  He is now married to another young girl he met at night school when we were married.  It is just a matter of time.

My sister who divorced in GA, which is not a no fault D state, had it put in her divorce that neither parent could have overnight guests of the opposite sex, who were not family, when the children were present.  You might want to ask your attorney about something like that.  Unfortunately you can not control who your stbx brings into your girl's life but being that your children are older I am sure they will see right through everything.  Kids are much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.

Hang in there!

Ollie