Lies

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
Lies
4
Thu, 10-24-2013 - 1:15pm

I just found out that my husband was searching old gf's on fb along with some porn. When we got back together and decided to get married he promised no more porn and that his lfe would be an open book. I needed to know what I was up against so I looked at his search log on fb and saw that he has been searching the females profile that he left me for almost everyday. Not sure where to go with this now. Need some suggestions please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
In reply to: shy-one
Mon, 10-28-2013 - 8:47am
I posted this question before I confronted him about looking at the profiles. After I confronted him we talked and I do believe him that there was nothing to it. Thank you both for your responses. And Fissatore I agree 100% with you about the trust and marriage stuff. He deleted his fb page (I didn't ask him too - he did it on his own). I told him he didn't have to and asked if he wanted me to delete mine and he said no. We've been good since - been communicating more. Again Thanks for the feed back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: shy-one
Fri, 10-25-2013 - 4:02am

You told him you'd seen it, and he said there was nothing to it.  I guess you don't believe him or you wouldn't be here.  You have to decide if you trust him, or you don't trust him.  If you don't.......then you will spend the rest of your marriage checking up on him, and that's not a marriage, it's a parent/child relationship.  Now that you've "caught" him......he can just change his password and/or go on line in some way that you'll never know about it.  Again.......if you have to keep checking, why bother?  Either trust him, or if you can't, then you should end the marriage.  Men will promise anything, if it gets them what they want.  They have no qualms about breaking their promise if they want to.  Maybe you both need some counseling......and if he won't agree to it, go yourself.......because you don't need or want to spend the rest of your life checking up on him. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
In reply to: shy-one
Thu, 10-24-2013 - 2:27pm
He just looked at her profile and the little bit of stupid stuff she posted. No he never contacted her at all. I just can't figure out why - he said it was just for s**** & giggles.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shy-one
Thu, 10-24-2013 - 2:19pm

Normally I would say so what if someone just looked at old GF's pictures on FB (and didn't contact them--or even if they did but it wasn't flirtatious).  But considering that he broke up w/ you & was with her, that would be a concern.  Of course now he will know that you are searching his activities.  Has he sent her messages or just looked at her pics?