listen to head or heart?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
listen to head or heart?
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 7:22am
Now that he is caught, of course he is saying "the right things" and promising the world. My heart wants to believe, but I've been lied to for at least a year. My head says not to believe him.

From all I've been reading, he is coming from a place of fear. And, he has found himself on the couch alone. And, that he is no longer on my visa account. Not sure if he's found his atm card to joint accounts no longer works or not.

What have others found? Do these things work to wake him up? My fear is he will try to play me and repeat cycle again when I let down my guard.
Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 1:45pm
I did a few things, I worked the 180 list the best that I could, and I read a bunch of books. Others will have good recommendations but this is the one I got the most out of:

The best thing I could have done better for myself was to prepare to move on alone. When I failed to do that, it gave her power not to have to heal herself and our relationship and her healing/maturing slowed. A lawyer would have been good also.


We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.