Looking for insight

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Looking for insight
Wed, 09-05-2012 - 5:35am

I posted this on another board, but received just a few "bashing the first wife" responses. I am still dealing with the remarks and attitude, to the point that I am no longer attending my step-grandchildren's events. Simply don't understand how she has rewritten history.Really not looking to bash her; I already understand that she has chosen to elevate herself over me while forgetting that she engaged in the same behaviors (though, I did not intend to leave my children behind when I became involved with my husband I was not married).

My husband was involved in a 20 year marriage during which he and his first wife were unfaithful. My husband traveled on business and had several one night stands. His exwife met a man at work, rented a "lovenest" apartment and took money from the family budget to furnish  it and keep it going. I am assuming her boyfriend added money in too. My husband found out she was cheating when he found a check book that had his wife's name and boy friends name listed. She had even used the boyfriend's last name. Their children were still at home at the time. When my husband confronted her, she chose her boyfriend but he (boyfriend) went home to his wife and the relationship ended. My husband's first marriage ended a few years later when the youngest child graduated. 12 years later, they reconciled during some health crises and birth's of grand children. Me and my husband met about 10 later and began a relationship. He left his marriage and married me and we are still together. I have recently found out that I have cancer. The exwife looked at me at a baseball game and said "karma." I said "what?" and she said; "your cancer, it's Karma." She's made other comments that I've been able to hear like "what kind of mother behaves that way?" I've remained quiet, but now I'm thinking that she knows exactly what kind of mother sleeps with a married man as she did it. How can she forget that she WAS me and she had every plan to leave her teenage daughters and live in a one bedroom apartment with her boyfriend who also had teen aged children at home? What makes her cheating "better" or less karma worthy than mine?

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 2:44pm

Just let it go. Who cares what she thinks or says. Life is too short to let something like that consume you. Whats done is done, no one can change it. I don't believe in Karma or anything of the sort. It's too easy for people to assign karma and luck and god to reasons why things happen or don't happen.