Lost in Austin....;
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|Fri, 08-21-2009 - 1:33am|
Two days ago I came downstairs and found my husbands facebook page open to his inbox. I usually have no interest in that kind of thing for him, I don't snoop or any of that. I immediately noticed an entire page of messages between him and one specific girl, which happened to be his girlfriend from high school. They were very sexual in nature, not to mention excited and thrilled to be talking to one another. I also read in many of them that they were having phone conversations and she was sending him nude photos of herself for his approval. Needless to say, my heart was pounding and my world was rocked. In one email I noticed him saying for her not to send any photos through facebook, to send them to a secret email account which he had set up. After reading through all of their recent emails, I went to his secret email account. I tried all his usual passwords, which didn't work, so I clicked Forgot your Password, and I knew all the answers needed to get into this account. The emails I found there have changed my entire life. In the last 2 or 3 weeks, he apparently signed up for several dating/sex websites, there was an ad that he placed on craigslist for sex with a stranger to fulfill some fantasy, there were what I believe to be prostitutes and other women responding and from what I can tell he met up with at least one woman for sex. This was all within about an hour. I am completely devastated. We have on 4 year old daughter and my stepson, who is almost 12, who has never really known another mother but me. We obviously had problems, like everyone, but I always used to say the one thing he would never do is cheat on me. Obviously, I am so far off base about who he even is, or what to do. Leaving seems like the only solution, right??? But I am so terrified to make the wrong choice, because of the kids. And according to him, this was only this weird thing that happened to him that he only recently started indulging or whatever, but I know his father did this to his mother, etc.....I don't know what to do. We have been together over ten years. This is extremely out of character. On the other hand, I feel like I found out I'm married to a serial killer or something. How could I not know this is who I married? We are both very smart people and this is the farthest thing from my imagination I could ever imagine. I am torn between doing what I should do, and doing what is probably best for the kids, but not me.
I don't even know why I wrote this, but I needed to get it out.