More contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
More contact
25
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 2:46pm
I just found out that my H had more contact w/the OW. he planned on taking some time away to think and go to a hotel , but it was a ruse to "end his affair" as he says. I made him call the Ow in front of me and I told her that she can have him, but he'll cheat on her ,too. My advice to her was to go into therapy and figure out why she would want a married man- it just brings heartache. I told her I was sorry for her pain and she said the same to me. She was furious w/my H when he told her he wanted to meet to really end the affair. She said you lied to me, that he had promised to divorce me and get an apt. w/her! I am just incredulous and I kicked him out. I told him I'll see him in the therapist's office, but I want a divorce. He is beside himself, but I don't care. I can't even look at him and I told him he doesn't know how to love someone. I told the OW to find a nice guy who won't cheat and I wished her the best of luck. My H was shocked- now he's lost both of us!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 3:39pm

Lost both of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 3:48pm
Lizzie, I'm so sorry to hear it's gone that way, but congratulations for standing on your own strength.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 4:51pm
I am doing fine. My H is very busy groveling and telling me how sorry he is. We are seeing the therapist on Mon and possibly Tues.I am better that he is out of the house and I have very supportive friends.I am not sure about ever trusting him again and our marriage surviving, but I've gotta say it is amusing to see him suffer!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 5:24pm
Certainly rings a bell.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 6:12pm
So true- but once I sort out my feelings, I vow to move on w/my life. I know I can make it on my own. I'm very independent and I am in school to improve my career. I will no longer be a victim.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 7:00pm

Lizzie,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 9:04pm
Thanks Ollie, I am considering divorcing.My H has a whole in him and I don't think he can be changed. I don't want to live the rest of my life worrying about his commitment to me. We are going to his therapist on Mon. so I'll see what she has to say. I have a wonderful therapist - we have a very close bond and I trust her. She is guiding me and helping me make my own decisions very carefully. I'm not going to rush into anything b/c we did have a great marriage for 22yrs. Something happened to him when his father died 6 yrs, ago and he is not the same loving man I married. i have a loving family and friends that I can count on, so I feel pretty strong. once I make up my mind about something, I never look back w/regret.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 11:57am
GOOD FOR
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 12:06pm
I told him I'm going into therapy to ask my therapist to help me leave the marriage. Wow! That has him freaked out! I told him even if he does all the right things, I still may not leave- that my feelings for him may have changed. that at this moment I have no loving feelings for him. his head is spinning as he's spending his time in a hotel room alone. BTW, the Ow told him on speakerphone that she wanted nothing else to do w/him. That he lied to her. I told her, Get yourself some therapy to figure out why you would want a married man and move on w/your life and find a nice guy. He'll just cheat on you ,too. Then I wished her the best of luck! Classy of me, huh?!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2009
In reply to: lizzie2009
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 7:37am

Lizzie, I am so sorry, but maybe it's for the best that you found out so soon.


Please try to remember that the ow is as confused as you and part of her may still want to hang on, despite what she said initially.


If it were me, I would be very concerned because of the degree of his deceit; he is able to juggle some very serious lying.

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