My H left when my baby was 2 months old!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2010
My H left when my baby was 2 months old!
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 1:18am

I don't really know why I'm writing this other than that I just feel so sad and alone. I have a 4 month old son. My husband left two months ago. First he said he wasn't happy and wasn't sure if he loved our baby. He said he needed some time alone. So he left. He said it would be good for us and we would be stronger in the end.

I just found out that he has been living with a woman from work. Though he says there is nothing going on, he has been living with her for weeks now and has been slowly moving out his clothes one bag at a time when he comes over to see the baby. We were going to therapy, but he never put any effort into our relationship. He has been gone for two months and sometimes comes over to see the baby but has never tried at all to make things right with me.

I just saw his credit card statement and he has been going out to dinner and drinks all over town for the last few weeks (very unusual, as we were saving very strenuously as we have a new baby and only one income). I guess he is taking his new girlfriend out and living it up in a way we haven't done since before I was pregnant.

Pretty much everything he has told me for months has been lies. I sit at home taking care of our son while he goes out on the town celebrating his "freedom and independence" (the things he said he was missing and what was making him unhappy)

He tells me he has been unhappy with me and that he never wanted to have a baby. The thing is, the baby wasn't a surprise, we were trying to get pregnant! If he was so unhappy, why were we trying to get pregnant? Why did he agree to have a baby? he says he only agreed to have the baby because he thought I'd divorce him if he didn''t... but then he left when the baby was only 2 months old anyway! I don't understand this!

I don't know what to do with myself. I am home with the baby, and now I'm getting divorced. I tried to get him to come home and work on the marriage, but he doesn't want to. I said fine, just move somewhere else (this was when i was still trying to believe him that nothing was going on with this woman). He said he would find another place, but then he did nothing. He sat in therapy with me and said he didn't want it to be over, but he wasn't willing to live somewhere else. I wanted so bad to believe him, but now I see these credit card charges and I know he is going out with her!

I don't know what to do, or how to deal with this.

Avatar for cirrus1993
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:40am

My first husband walked out on me when my son was 5 weeks old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:54am
Sadly, your H has revealed his true character to you - he is no longer the man you thought he was; in fact, he's a pretty poor excuse for a man at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 1:53pm

Hi there, I am sooo sorry you here - I know too well how you are feeling... STBX left me when our little guy was 8 weeks old... Brief history - STBX was a serial cheater, cheated while we were engaged, cheated while I was pregnant..

Like you my STBX and I were planning for this baby, we even built a beautiful house down the street from the school where we wanted our son to go to school. We went everyday to watch this house being built, it really was our dream home. I was 8 months pregnant when

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2007
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 9:32pm


I feel ur pain so deeply, My sorry H left me when I was 6mos pg & since our daughter was