My husband probably betrays me - I'm looking for spy program

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2014
My husband probably betrays me - I'm looking for spy program
14
Sun, 02-02-2014 - 6:23am

My husband probably betrays me. I'm looking for spy program, I haven't got any other solution. I talked with him, a few times. But  he isn't candid.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007

If you think you have a problem with him...regardless of how long you have been married...if you are not on the same page......leave him...he doesn't deserve you...whether you are young...old...fat...skinny...sick...well...if you don't feel supported emotionally and in everyway...skip wasting your time and money on trying to prove he doesn't love you.  Find the strength to get out of the situtation...go immediately to stay with friends or family.   However, if you still want to spy....go to Cheaters.com...they have many things you can buy...

Missy
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Great advice. You are at a turning point where if you check once, you will be checking forever. What the object? Move on, he isn't worth it.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
The quote at the end of Ratherbeme's post says it all...Why waste time on what you think could have been? If you think he has betrayed you...he has...if he is not being candid...that alone is betrayal...of your vows. Its hard to leave....but think about how much harder it is to stay...and how much pain you are in....If he isn't loving you the way you need to be loved...or even 1/2 the way you need to be loved...Get strong and get out.
Missy
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

 This might just land you in legal trouble.  Spying  is illegal in many state then there are federal laws.  If you do not like it leave.  That is the better way.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010

Sorry you're going through this. I understand that you are suspicious but want to have proof. That is very important should you go through a divorce, especially if child custody is going to be an issue and you have reason to believe the info you may find would be detrimental to you or your children's welfare.  While adultery is not even considered in most states regarding settlement in a divorce, it can be helpful to have that proof as leverage.

 Hopefully, some of the members who have experience with these types of programs will post info to you. I know there are several who used them and can tell you which ones are the best.

If you are putting this program on your home computer that is owned by you both, you have every right to do so. Also, during my divorce, my attorney had me secretly record conversations where my XH admitted lying in court~and it was perfectly legal in my state to do so. But please be aware, if he thinks you are getting suspicious, he will just go to more deceitful measures to hide his actions~i.e. using a different computer, getting a secret prepaid cell phone, etc. So be careful how much and to what extent you question him at this point to keep him from going 'underground'. He's NOT going to be candid with you, so don't expect that. If he is indeed cheating, he will be evasive, lie, lie and lie some more.

I would also urge you to keep an eye on any joint accounts you have together.  He can legally at any time withdraw any and all funds and take your name off the accounts should he choose to do so. Now would be a great time to start an account in your name only if you have the means to do so.

I'm sure you have already thought of this, but if not, check the history on your computer to make sure it is not turned off.

I sincerely hope that your suspicions turn out to be wrong. But usually if you have a feeling something isn't right, trust your gut instinct. I don't agree with the other posters advice about leaving or doing anything rash right now. Find out the info you need and then go from there.

Best of luck to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2014

I'm in a difficult position, so I must find good solution - spy program is the most sensible, I think. I'd like file for a divorce but actually I haven't got any proofs.

Thanks for the suppor, actually I'm observing him... Frankly speaking I don't have the slightest hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2014
I can recommend SpyLogger - I used it when I supposed that my husband betrays me and what's more, it proved true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007

You don't need proof...you have it in your gut.  Your worth more than having to worry.

Your not happy....happiness...is important...even if you leave him because your simply UNHAPPY

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2014

Yes, I'm unhappy, but I must feel sure that he betrays me. In that event I'll file for a divorce without any remorse...

@monica083 - Can you write something else about his program..? Is it so discreet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2014

It's very discreet because doesn't appear in the process list or installed applications - generally no signs of a monitoring - there's absolutely no possibility that he'll reveal this program. Program saves all clicked keys and visited websites, according to version it can send all collected data to your e-mail (I used this version, it's SpyLogger Mail).

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