My story, and wrestling with my imagination

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2011
My story, and wrestling with my imagination
2
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 3:28pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 7:23pm
Juls- so so sorry for your pain. It's a pain unlike any I have ever experienced before. I am 5 months out. I still think about husbands xAP, but not so much during times of intimacy. I did for probably two months though. Sometimes I just couldn't do it. It was a threesome I didn't want to have. I got really hung up on her actually and I wanted to know what was so great about her because physically she was nothing special, personality wise she was nothing special. What she was was just different than me. Period. It was hard not to compare myself to this woman my husband risked his entire family for, but he wasn't thinking about me during his affair and he thought about our kids less. She knew me but did t think I'd ever find out so it was "okay". Give yourself time. I wish I had a magic answer maybe one of the OP will be able to share some wisdom. For me, with time, I think of her less than less and I hope that rings true for you too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2011
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 9:45pm
Thank you for your input, I am hopeful time will erase, or at least fade these images from my mind. I can relate to your comment about it being a threesome you didn't want to have. I am sorry you actually knew his AP, it would seem to make it more difficult to deal with I would think. I saw a clerk at a store the other day and she approached me and asked if I needed assistance. She looked just like his AP and it gave life and personality to a person who was otherwise static to me. I am ready to move on from this, but know it's a process and it will take time. Thanks again for your response and best of luck to you and your family as you work through this.