My wife lost it on me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
My wife lost it on me...
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:00am

A few days ago a single friend of mine texted me a pic of a 30 yr girl from the Phillipines he hadn't met in person to me.  This picture was a naked one.  Nothing explicit.  Tastefulley done for the few seconds I viewed.  I was sleeping when I got this, so I save it to my phone to check out later.  I wanted it off my messages so my daughter woudn't see anything if she wanted to play with my phone.  So I saved it on my camera roll i guess.  I was thinking I will check it out later when I awake.  I woke up and looked at it.  She was good looking.  Not close to the love of my life tho.  I told me friend what the hell are you sending that to me for and what the hell are you interested in her for when it is clear she is playing you.    Now we get to the meat of the story.  I forgot to delete this photo.  (uh ojh)  Yes my wife saw it.  She lost it.  I get it.  This is something nowhere close to anythin we have been through before,  Icouldn't deny.  Itold her, I got the txt andsaved it to see later. Ilooked laterand thenforgot to delete.  My wife founf it later and nowI am on verge of divorvce.  I have never cheated on myeife buy she thinks I am looking forthis girl.Not sure who it is.  I have lived the perfrefct life,  My wife is flaless.  It doesn't k=make sense, Heulp mefindmy wife

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 4:36pm

  First stand up for yourself and not tolerate this abuse.  Your wife needs reality.  Her actions are unwarranted and harmful.  But if you let her get away with this behavior it will be worse for you.  She must come to terms as an adult for her negative response and feelings.   If she is unable then she needs professional help.   

   When people allow others to be controlling and abusive; those persons will continue to be controlling and abusive.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 2:50pm

Well, you now know your smart move was to take your peek and then delete the stupid picture.  Your wife clearly has an issue with you viewing naked women.  If you didn't know that before, now you do.  But this is not exactly a deal breaker, not in my mind, anyway.  Surely she can see that you didn't seek out this photo, it was sent to you, you didn't go to a porn site to get it, so that to me should take part of the steam out of the whole thing.  Saving it to look at again was a dumb butt move and she has the right to be concerned about WHAT THAT MEANS.  I think that's the problem - did it really mean something or not.  Your wife truly should not be considering divorce without at least seeking out counseling for this.  Is there more to this story than you've revealed?  Does she have CAUSE for concern?  If there's more you haven't wanted to admit, this is the safe place to get some initial feedback.  If there's NOTHING in the past that could be causing her reaction, she needs counseling.  She's entitled to feel any way she chooses about this finding, it would bother me, too, but mostly because in our house there would be reason for concern.  But counseling is available to all of us. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 10:36am

I think if what you say is true, your wife has a right to be upset that you would save this nude picture to look at later, but I don't think it's worth it to get divorced over it.  Since it would be clear that your friend sent you this pic and he is the one interested in the woman, why did your DW jump to the conclusion that you are interested in her?  Have you had a wandering eye before even if you didn't actually cheat?