Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Need Advice
12
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 2:01pm
I feel like calling the other women that husband has been seeing. I see they are still calling each other on the cellphone bill. I want to ask her what isgoing on between her and my husband to see if she confesses since he is always denying it. Or I want to send her a message to her cellophone telling how she likes being the second, just taking the leftovers. Please advice should I call or not?/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: ingguz18
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 11:31pm

He's "been seeing"???

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
In reply to: ingguz18
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 11:29am

i would not call her UNTIL you have more facts.

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
In reply to: ingguz18
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 12:46pm

You need to start by talking to him.

If you have undeniable proof that he has been calling her, then you are owed an explanation by him, and no one else.

She owes you nothing. Not even the time of day of answering your phone call, which she probably won't.

Your desire to talk to her is a waste of time.

He is the one who owes you an explanation and an definite, truthful answer.

Go to him!

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: ingguz18
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 1:23pm
I agree. The OW will most likely deny and try to protect his as well as her own arse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
In reply to: ingguz18
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 9:42pm

"She owes you nothing" I do not agree that the OM/OW ownes nothing....they are thieves to a marriage. But I do agree that contact
at this point would be a waste of time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
In reply to: ingguz18
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 7:26pm
Well, I have posted my situation before but here, like 2 months ago our cellphone bill went over the minutes so when I looked at the bill on my Husband number, there was hundred's of text messages to the same number. I asked my H who was that person and he got a little nervous just saying oh a friend, but he started saying thats a lady that buys products from him and she recommends him to a lot people since he a salesman and that he also recommends her because she sales food also. So then I decided to buy a recorder to recover his conversation since he is at home all day taking care of our 7 months old son. After a few days I heard a conversation of him with that women saying not to fight with him because she knows he has a commitment and bla bla, then I heard another conversation where he was confessing to his sister that he has been seeing that women and how he met her and that the OW told him to move with her and that she will even have twins if he wanted to and he told her no that he will not leave his family, etc... After that I confronted him telling him that someone had told me that he was seeing that women and he denies it, he keeps saying they are just friends and he will not leave his family for anybody. So now I am not sure what is going on but on the cell bill I see that they are still talking... I don't know what do anymore, overall he behaves very good at home taking care of our son and helps me a lot. The only free time he has is when I come from work, he goes out to visit places to sell his products. What do you guys think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: ingguz18
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 10:23pm
I think you should put that recorder under the seat of his car when he visits "places" to sell his products...If he is visiting OW he will most likely call her from the car. Have you given him an ultimatum yet?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
In reply to: ingguz18
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 7:50pm
I have put the recorder in the car and I heard the OW talking to him in the car, after that was that I confronted him and told him if he wanted to be with other women he was free to go. I didn't speak to him for a week, then he approached me saying he did not want to be like that with me, and turning things around saying I have changed with him and that if I wanted he could go away and I said it was up to him if he wanted to leave. After that I have been using the recorder at home and in the car on and off, but i have not heard any more conversations. So I don't know if something is going on or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: ingguz18
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 6:21am

...I think that if a spouse that is cheating or having inappropriate contact with someone else won't "own up" and is still in

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
In reply to: ingguz18
Sat, 11-13-2010 - 1:18pm

I think your husband was/is cheating.

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