Need advice...question

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2008
Need advice...question
22
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 8:45am

So, it has been 5 weeks since I found out about my H affair and I'm doing ok.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 10:47pm

i remember my h telling me that 'barbie' the one who was giving him back door sex was so unattractive that he would never have been seen in public with her. he said she was morbidly obese, old, desperate, and ugly. but how sad is it that a man that she gave herself to would speak of her in such a degrading manner. i do not get it; how do you jeopardize everything for a piece of ass, and in this case i mean it literally, ha ha.

you know you bring up a good point here, the cynical biatch part. i too, do not like that new trait of mine. i use to be so open, so happy, so trusting. all of this has tainted me, and i am not liking it, not one dam* bit. i am working on this, because i know that i am better than this. my h use to say i was a dreamer, that i looked at life thru rose colored glasses - always believing in karma, the importance of treating all well - then HE, my HUSBAND, the FATHER OF MY CHILDREN, my INTIMATE LOVER jumped into the gutter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 7:57am
I have the same trigger when i see 'her' car! She has a red car and they did their antics in her car! Which is a very small first time driver type of car! My bloke doesn't even have a car, neither of us do, he has a moped though, but as far as i know, they never went anywhere on that. Reason being, he loves driving cars, and he drove hers, even though he isn't illegal. She basically was using her car as a bait to get him to go out with her after work, of course they needed destinations to go to....pubs or supermarkets, then would drive back to outside her mothers house with a crate full of drinks, then get up to whatever they did in the back of her car while drinking, then he'd stupidly drive around drunk afterwards to get home....or stop at his work as he is key holder! Probably so i didn't see the state of drunk he was in, or the state of the hiccies on his neck or maybe even cause she stayed there with him, who knows? But, everytime i see a small red car approaching in the street, i glare at it as it approaches and check the number plate. Most of the time its not hers, but the anger i feel boiling up inside me when i see it is unbelievable!! I could honestly jump on the bonnet and put the windscreen through! I have a job walking by if i see it parked anywhere too! I'd smash it up but he'd only feel guilty and probably pay for it to be repaired! He says he wouldn't, but i know he would, mr flash his cash likes to pretend he is rich! Luckily though, i don't have to drive around in her car! Another trigger for me, is seeing any of her family, her little sister is in my littl boys class at school, so i have to see a member of her family everyday at my boys school and sometimes even her, the amount of self control it takes for me not to fly kick the b!tch in the teeth is impossible! Then i find myself stewing on it for a good hour afterwards, especially when she gives me one of her snide/smug looks like shes untouchable or something. I don't want her to have that affect over me, but i really can't help it!

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