As you know we are both betrayed spouses.
So sorry Gal.
I'm so sorry that this is happening.
He is clearly living in the past, obsessively trying to prove that you are cheating. He isn't in this relationship with a clear mind or heart, and that means he can't be completely dedicated to you.
It honestly doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. And after what you went through with your ex, you should be pursuing the life you deserve
Sounds to me like he's just trying to throw attention onto YOU and off of HIM by doing this.
After my split with my ex, I made the decision to NOT enter into ANY long term relationships until I was certain that my suspicious mind would no longer control my feelings. This has worked well since the ladies I have had the pleasure of enjoying their company know up front just what my "plans" are and can decide for themselves if they wish to carry on with the relationship.
Perhaps should I manage to live another forty years, I'll reconsider and try to find a permanent SO.
It could be either reason, both, or maybe a few more issues you're just realizing. Just because someone has been cheated on, doesn't mean they are/were necessarily a good person. The fact that he finds it impossible to apologize after accusing someone of something they didn't do has nothing to do with being cheated on. That is arrogance, entitlement, and maybe even narcissism. You only know what he tells you about his marriage, there could have been other issues even before his wife cheated. Don't be in a hurry to settle down with the first guy that comes along after divorce. You could regret it tremendously. It takes a long time to fully get over a divorce and I highly doubt either one of you are ready. He certainly isn't!