Need a pep talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
Need a pep talk
103
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 8:27pm

I figured I'd start a new thread, but you can read my story in the below thread named "What to do":


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rladultery&msg=48418.1&ctx=0


I am trying to do the 180 list and man is it hard.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: mikelion
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 9:09pm

Wait, wait, wait...


The 180 does NOT mean that they get to continue having their affair right in front of your face.


I'm not saying you need to do this.... but, I'm aching for you right now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 11:01pm

Well I guess I misunderstood that one key point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 11:20pm

Can someone please point me toward the "wakeup call letter"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 12:35am

Hi Mike


I'd consider pirating some of what ties had to say in her last note.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 1:21am

Mike,

I don't know how to do links, but here are is what you are looking for:

On BSS, use the advanced search feature on the BSS banner. One at a time, put these message numbers in the box:

47524.1 about the 180
47632.2 about the wake up call
46478.3 about the wake up call

A good site is www.betrayedspouse101.tripod.com. (WooHoo--this showed up as a link when I previewed the message to you.)

I am so glad you have an appointment tomorrow. You can discuss with the therapist that your W is still seeing the OM (meaning that she is what's called a cake-eater). IMO, she has to go No Contact with her lover to give your M a chance to heal. Please read about NC--she can never call, write to, or see him again--not even to say goodbye. Actions speak louder than words. If she has no further contact with him, he will get the picture.

I wish you well. A marriage can be rebuilt, but only if both partners want that and are willing to work for it.

Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 6:43am
Morning: I hope that you are starting to get a sense of who you are in the relationship that you want to have.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 7:23am

Hey mike,


I think you are off to a much more grounded start with what you've wrote.


When I was going through this, I started off without the 180, and was just doing what I felt that I HAD TO do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:01am

Thanks so much to everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:21am

I just read the wake up call letter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: mikelion
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:49am

you got some great advice. Stand strong today and let it be known what your willing to accept and not accept at therapy today. You can do this.

Let us know how it goes.

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