Need to tell my story~Messed Up

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2010
Need to tell my story~Messed Up
4
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 1:55am

We've just had our 33rd anniversary, and I am on a rollercoaster right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2010
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 1:47pm

Know that I bit the bullet and posted this, I would love to hear some insights, comments, anything from someone I'm tired of talking to myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:02pm

Hugs.

I know this is hard. breaking up a home for the kids is not always easy.

Have you thought about the pro's and con's of doing this? What you can and cannot live with. maybe writing them down might help. Hang in there and stop by anytime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 6:45pm

Camille,

I'm sorry that I don't have any real advice for you, but I do have a suggestion. On the banner on top of this page that says Betrayed Spouses Support there is a box that says "find messages about." I put bisexual into it and found 9 messages on that topic. Perhaps that could be a starting place for you.

I'm sure it feels to you like no one is responding to your post, but please give it time. Sometimes the board is not very active, and sometimes people can't relate to your particular situation. So hang in there.

Also, is it possible for you to make a counseling appointment with a therapist or a clergyperson?

Most importantly, though, please make an appointment to get tested for STDs. Don't be embarrassed to do this. Docs see this situation all the time, and you need to make sure that you haven't been exposed to disease.

My thoughts are with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 7:34pm

Hi Camille:
I read your missive several times. Imo talk this out. Because you mentioned that you had no interest is sex it makes sense to work out some kind of arrangement. I am male and went thru similar with my ex. She disliked sex (never talked about it other than say she did not want) and told me to find another woman for sex. I felt betrayed because she never mentioned before we got married.
I see that H wants sex. You are unwilling? So it might be best to come to some agreement and keep it between the two. Fighting over this makes no sense. I can see that there needs to be openness and if you can a sex therapist to see if there is a way for you to rediscover your sex drive. Not lying is far better. As it will take time to open up. Many men go to bi-curious because they want sex. without the hassle of a "relationship" as many women after a while will want. Yet they are afraid that they will be found out.
May I suggest the board on mismatched libidos and the one on bisexual(women) just to get a perspective.
There is a lot more to my story and you can email me if you wish. I wish you well.

dRIVING FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL
SINCE 1969




Edited 4/19/2010 7:37 pm ET by xxxs
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