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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
new here
6
Mon, 06-01-2009 - 1:16pm
I am a mother of 5 children from 13 to 1 yr. I have been married to my husband for 14 years and known him for a total of 16 years. We have been happily married. My husband has had a woman friend we'll call her sara since high school. He calls her about 0nce a month... I always have questioned him about the calls and he would always reassure me that it is inno cent and that he is just checking on his goddaughter, he is her childs godfather and the girl has no real father in her life. He got a new phone recently, a touch screen phone. When I would approach him the last few weeks I noticed he would immediately shut off the phone which got me suspicious. I checked the phone the message I read was this from her "touching, feeling, sucking" He wrote back "me thinks you forgot how" She writes "show me than" He writes " i do not teach anymore". Than later in the day she types "iam horny"... I was furious beyond belief.... I think he should have immediately come to me and told me and he should have told her it was inappropiate to be saying such things.. Sometimes he admits he way crossed the line, other times he says it was just a text and why am I so upset... To top it off in the middle of all of this he has joined facebook... He is now by his own admission instant messaging his exfiance who he dated right before me, he instant messages her every day. ANd I can see from his facebook page that she and another woman are pinging his phone several times a day. And he does not know why I am upset? ANy thoughts? We are in counseling and he has stopped contact with the first woman named sarah. But how do i get him to see he is hurting me witht
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: nda3
Mon, 06-01-2009 - 1:41pm
Ask your H how he would feel if you were getting such emails from a male "friend" and being in such constant contact with an ex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: nda3
Mon, 06-01-2009 - 1:59pm
Thank for the thoughts.. We are in counseling. He has stopped agreed to stop all contact with sarah.... he is still in touch with his goddaughter who is turning 18 and moving out of her moms house so he will have no reason to call sarahs house to talk to goddaughter.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: nda3
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 7:03am
I think you both will learn a lot in reading the book I suggested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
In reply to: nda3
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 8:29am
Thank..I plan to bring the instant messaging up in counseling....He has always had boundary issues and lately it seems like they are piling up and driving me crazy...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: nda3
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 4:34pm
This is not an innocent godfather type thing here, not by a long shot.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2008
In reply to: nda3
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 6:00pm

I am so sorry you find yourself here, but I know you will get amazing support. I would start by asking if the shoe was on the other foot how would he feel? what would he expect you to do? You have ever right to be angry and hurt. He betrayed your trust and now he has to earn it back by showing you with his actions that you are more important.