New here...just found out H is cheating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
New here...just found out H is cheating.
3
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 9:40pm
Hi, I'm new to this board but thought it would be a good place to come. Today I found out that my H is having an affair with his boss. He works in a hospital at night. Well actually two hospitals, one full time and the other 1 or 2 shifts a month. He just changed the situation in Nov. It use to be the other way around ( full time at the other hospital and pt at the now ft hospital) She is his boss at the now pt hospital. She is actually the director of the department he works in. He went to Vegas for the weekend with his brother and brother's girlfriend. But actually went with HIS girlfriend. I called the hotel after a large withdrawal from that hotel came across my checking account. I asked for his room and hung up and then ask to see if she had a room and she did. A friend of mine called and asked her a couple of questions that proved who she was. I have not spoken to him at all since he left on Sat afternoon.
My story started about 1 1/2 mths ago. He told me he was not "in love" with me anymore. After 19+ yrs of marriage. I am starting school and have been a SAHM for over a year. I have been looking for work but unfortunately there are no jobs available. I have looked into retail and my "former" career (dental assisting), with no luck. He has been sleeping in the spare room for about 3 weeks now. He goes out with "the guys" about once a week or more. Unfortunately we just moved to a new town this spring and I have only made one friend. She is great but has a boyfriend and works 6 days a week till PM. And H works nights so i need to be home with the kids. My mom lives over a thousand miles away and most of my friends live in other states. I don't have a support system right now and am falling apart. I think he knows that I know (this just literally happened today) but he's not here to confront me and I will not be home when he gets home. I am staying with my friend until his next scheduled day of work. He will get to be dad and wonder where I am.
Any advice at all would be appreciated!
Thanks, Cinsue
Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch you words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch you habits, they become character. Watch you character, it becomes your destiny.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 7:48am
Welcome to the board - I'm sorry you find yourself here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 9:48am
Thank you so much for the advice. I have been checking the internet to see what the laws are in this state about divorce. There is only one family law practice I could find on line for my town. I will be checking in the yellow pages today. I still have not seen him to confront him about this. I am planning on taking a few days away to consider all options before we talk. he is due home from Vegas today I think. When he left he did not give me an exact date he'd be home. I have to be careful that he doesn't not come home and my kids are alone. I have a 16 and 13 yr old. They don't know about this part yet but they know of the fact that we are having troubles and doing our separate thing for a while. Not by my choice but his...that is what is giving him the freedom to cheat. We are not legally separated either, he just sleeps in the spare room. And he hangs out with his "friends" and I just spend time with my kids since I only have one friend in this new town. She is great but works 6 days a week till 6PM, and has a boyfriend. I have little to no support system close by, it is all via phone with my friends and family out of state.
Thank you for everything!
Cinsue
Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch you words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch you habits, they become character. Watch you character, it becomes your destiny.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 2:16pm

I wish I could give you a big hug.