Opinons Please! My D-DAY was 5/17/2011

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Opinons Please! My D-DAY was 5/17/2011
31
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 5:15pm
I don't know why I am asking for opinions...it is what it is, but I guess when you love someone and u discover a betrayal , there's a part of u that is still in denial.Yesterday evening while putting my husbands clothes away and straighting his draws, I found a sock with 4 ladies thongs.they weren't even clean, they were used.obviously he was keeping these as trophies or souvenirs. He came home from work and I took him to the room to show him how I arranged his draws and when I pulled the draw that had the sock with the ladies panties; he quickly grabbed it. I made him aware that I had already seen them and knew what was inside.he turned white as a ghost, and said that it was old and that it was nothing.bottomline this idiot wants me to believe that these underwears are from years ago. We have been together since 99. We moved together in 2003, got married in 2006, and 2009 we had a baby girl. I don't even want to waste my time with the excuses that he gave me of the panties.He swares that they are not recent and that he is so embarrassed that I found them. I'm so angry,and mad.I stood up the whole night crying and feeling sick to my stomach.He will not admit the truth, he is sticking with his gut to deny and deny; because he knows that I will be out the door, and not to return.he doesn' want to lose me or his baby and vows that he would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. I do not want to tell my friends or family, cause I am humiliated and this is really a slap in my face.I am all about honesty & loyalty and I hate the lies. I just want to hear what others have to say, I'm drowning In my hurt and in this anger that I feel....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 11:12am

Amen Peace! you are describing my ex h.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 1:00pm

And every time he got caught in yet another affair he would get on his knees and cry and beg for another chance to "redeem himself." because he swore "it would not happen again" until he eventually got a girl less than half his age pregnant and the jig was up for my MIL. Oh and she also found out afterwards about

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2011
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 8:28pm
What a terrible thing to discover. I would be concerned that you are not getting the complete truth yet. As hurtful as it is, it is much worse not to know the complete truth. I went through a similar situation and decided to stand up and take control. I've written a book in support of women to help them with step by step tips on how to learn the truth and then once you find out, how to successfully survive!

Don't misunderstand, you don't have to leave. But retaking control is critical.

If you are interested in more details regarding where to download the book, feel free to email me.

I wish you all the best, and remember to stand up for yourself and be clear about your expectations.
SSI100
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 12:20pm
<<>

So true.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 12:37pm
My best friend many years ago was a former beauty pageant winner. Sweetest woman you'd ever want to know, smart as a whip, ambitious, a great mom. Did everything for her DH, and told me she'd never turned him down for sex even once. I lived in their home for awhile, I saw the dynamic in that house. And that fool still went out and cheated.

I don't believe there's a person that could say she was a problem whatsoever in the marriage and that contributed to his cheating. No way.

 

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 3:58pm

There probably wasn't any thing but we do not know that.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 10:27pm
Maybe "you" don't have enough information, but don't include me in that.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 1:48pm

Yeah maybe his wife wasn't into oral sex so that gave him the right to go out get it elsewhere. LOL

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 9:06pm

Ah peace you do understand

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 12:11am
Well, if he didn't feel like he got enough bj's, she's part of the problem that led to him cheating.

I mean, that's ok, right?