Opinons Please! My D-DAY was 5/17/2011

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Opinons Please! My D-DAY was 5/17/2011
31
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 5:15pm
I don't know why I am asking for opinions...it is what it is, but I guess when you love someone and u discover a betrayal , there's a part of u that is still in denial.Yesterday evening while putting my husbands clothes away and straighting his draws, I found a sock with 4 ladies thongs.they weren't even clean, they were used.obviously he was keeping these as trophies or souvenirs. He came home from work and I took him to the room to show him how I arranged his draws and when I pulled the draw that had the sock with the ladies panties; he quickly grabbed it. I made him aware that I had already seen them and knew what was inside.he turned white as a ghost, and said that it was old and that it was nothing.bottomline this idiot wants me to believe that these underwears are from years ago. We have been together since 99. We moved together in 2003, got married in 2006, and 2009 we had a baby girl. I don't even want to waste my time with the excuses that he gave me of the panties.He swares that they are not recent and that he is so embarrassed that I found them. I'm so angry,and mad.I stood up the whole night crying and feeling sick to my stomach.He will not admit the truth, he is sticking with his gut to deny and deny; because he knows that I will be out the door, and not to return.he doesn' want to lose me or his baby and vows that he would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. I do not want to tell my friends or family, cause I am humiliated and this is really a slap in my face.I am all about honesty & loyalty and I hate the lies. I just want to hear what others have to say, I'm drowning In my hurt and in this anger that I feel....
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 1:11am

We do not know if there is a problem or if their is

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 10:19am

i have been where you are, however, the one difference between you and i is the fact that i was not concerned about others knowing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 10:32am

succomb to monotony?

while it has been a while since i have posted i would like to respectfully say, if i were this initial poster i would find what you say most difficult to absorb.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 6:50pm

Actually, I was being sarcastic in response to xxxs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 6:54pm

VERY FUNNY SMART A$$.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 8:40pm
<<< Actually, I was being sarcastic in response to xxxs (who is a man by the way) >>>

I knew both those things. ;)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2011
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 3:18pm
I don't feel that there should ever be an excuse for cheating, but I also went down that road, because we have great sex, we talk, we go out...I am a good woman, I cater to my husband, my child and home. I work and I work out with him 3x a week. Because he is a personal trainer , I make sure I take a interest in his hobbies and what he enjoys, so that he doesn't go out looking for something he already gets from me. I like to dress up , and tease and excite my husband. I have read so many stories here of red flags, and none of this applies to my situation. He hasn't fought with me, he isn't nasty with me, there is no lack of sex , he does not hang out , or go missing. there are no hidden text messages or phone calls. But yet I still found the worn panties. He continues to deny that he has cheated and insist that they were from long ago. I know in my heart that he is lying, I even approached him by letting time pass and making it seem like I'm on his side, that he can trust me in telling me the truth. But he insist that they are not from the time that we have been married. He confessed to cheating on me before while we dated and lived together, but that he has not cheated on me since we have been married. I am even more upset to learn about his cheating me in the past because I married a cheater. Would I have known all this before then I would not be here today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 7:20am
That was his way of trying to make you feel better and regain trust in him?

Wow.

Sorry you're going through this.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2011
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 6:16pm
I thought the same thing when I read your post, and this response makes me wonder even more.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 06-11-2011 - 12:17am

OK

chaika