A piece of work

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
A piece of work
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 11:15pm

This all began so long ago, about a year after marrying my husband. I found sent messages on his phone that were explicit in nature, like a sex chat. He made some excuse about someone borrowing his phone to send sexy texts to their girlfriend (he was in the Army at the time).

Well this continued, him playing starcraft every day (not looking for work) while I was pregnant with our son. Sometimes when I was sleeping he'd be playing starcraft in the floor of our room, and more than once I've caught him masturbating.

I found out he was having an online affair with a girl he played World of Warcraft with. I put his AIM settings to save chats and I read them. I confronted him, and while at first he lied through his teeth about it, he then confessed and said it was the first time, and it would never happen again. The girl, who was also married and had a small son, cut off the affair and they stopped talking. Her name was Kristi.

Well, fast forward 8 months or so, and I put a keylogger on his computer. We had just gotten cell phones again, and I notice he's texting a LOT. ( the first bill showed 12,250 texts. Luckily we signed up for unlimited texts!) Once I spied a message from a girl named "Passion", that said she loved him. So I got suspicious again, and I put a keylogger on his computer.

I discovered later that he is not only participating in sex chats on the game Starcraft, (with girls who admit they're underage. They may or may not actually be underage, or girls for that matter, but that's irrelevant. If they say they're 12, (which one girl did) then he shouldn't be talking with them.) he's been stealing people's photos, younger, more attractive males, and impersonating them on a website called MyYearbook.com, as well as myspace. He's impersonated his best friend, both on MyYearbook and myspace. He constantly gives out his number and texts these girls constantly. He referred to his son as his nephew once. He's talking to Kristi again. This has been going on since before we got married (One message was two days before hand) and ever since.

Basically I've discovered he's a pig and I'll be leaving him in May, taking my son to my mother's on the other side of the country. It's just very stressful for me seeing as I'm trying to get ready to leave without alerting him, as well as not confronting him about all I know.

I just came here to get a bit of support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: adriagrey
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 3:45am
I'm so very sorry, it's horrible to have to meet new people here - hell its horrible for any of us to have to be here. Plot your course, save your pennies and do what you have to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2010
In reply to: adriagrey
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 5:14pm
My heart goes out to you. What a lifeless peice of a man. I will be praying for you. It sickens me to know that men have good women and they still want something else. I cant tell you this for sure. He is going to miss you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
In reply to: adriagrey
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 8:15pm

while i am always sorry to see yet another betrayed spouse on this board, i am grateful that this board exists. there are many many people here for you who are or have been where you are now.

i know it is hard to say goodbye to a dream, but in reality that is all it was - a dream. in real life he simply was who he was NOT the man you so wanted him to be.

you have great courage my young friend - and from someone who is probably old enough to be your mom i can share with you this -------------- he is NOT going to change. you are by leaving proving to yourself and your young child that you deserve far better.

continue to love you, take care of you --------- all of the rest will fall into place. unless and until we learn to love ourselves there is no hope for peace and happiness.

we are here for you