Please help I have been betrayed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Please help I have been betrayed
18
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 2:44am

I have written on her before..Tonite I find myself in a bad place..I have had that gut feeling that something is wrong and I was right...


I told my husband that I needed to get on our verizon wireless account to checkout some charges for our kids phone. He claimed to forget the password and user Id to site..and I saw the look on his face-one of fear..So when he went to bed I had verizon wipeout the old registration and set me up a whole new loger ID and pass word...


What I found: I found just for 2/16 he had 38 texts messages back and forth between a him and (peggy) a friend of mine we visited over new years..Meanwhile I have not hear a word from her..hmmmm wonder why....


And on 2/13 there is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 6:46am
Its just one person's opinion and I'm sure you'll get many... Read the text, find out the truth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 8:07am

Hi..thankyou for your kind words..


I cried/thought/cried/thought all nite...


I plan to be very calm and in control when I tell him what I know..I so wanted to cry or scream this mornin when he woke up but I held back..


I know it is in my best interest remain in control of the situation..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 8:11am
I would love to read the texts but there is no way to do that. He erases everything and online it only shows the number the texts are going to and coming from but not the words..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 8:14am
I should mention that Iam certain it is not physical..She lives 10 hrs away..But that does not lessen the hurt at all..and we have had othe issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 10:27am
First of all, it doesn't make any difference whether or not your H has been physical with another woman - the pain of betrayal is just as strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 10:47am

thank Lily...I called the lawyers office first thing this morning to findout my rights, waiting to hear back..In an hour I will be sitting with a therapist to sort this out...I want to have a handle on it before I go to my H.


obviously there is something wrong with my H that he finds himself in these situations...I know I cant fix him... Only he can..Almost sad..He has all the love right here in his house but yet it isnt enough for him....


I think I already know I cant live the rest of my life like this..He will either fix it or eventually the marriage will be over..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 11:55am

Put your foot down.


I would contact your friend and ask her what she is doing. You have evidence of several text messages and you are not comfortable with it. And ask her to stop, your marriage is suffering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 1:27pm
If Peggy is M then call her H and ask him if he knows what is going on....if single then confront Peggy and ask her for an explanation. Her reaction should tell you quite a bit. Maybe nothing but probably something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 5:06pm

i agree that informing/discussing with the two OW should also be part of this dilemma. Most likely they will deny, deny, deny.. but then again, next time your DH contacts them, he'll get an earful.. especially if you tell both that they are not the "only other" OW.. this may end up being the kick in the butt that DH needs.. and also.. no passwords or anything on his emails.. cells.. etc. that you do not know of.. he has to be an open book to you..
he opened a can of worms.. maybe just partially.. and you gotta do what it takes to show him how serious this is..
involving the BF/DH of the OWs is also a good step.. again, that this is not innocent flirtation, but a really serious matter.. getting all the "players" on the same page will send a very strong message.

best of luck..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 7:55am
I guess I would ask you to ask yourself why are you telling him about the attorney.

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