Please help me -my wedding is in one month and I don't know what to do.
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|Sat, 09-01-2012 - 12:57pm|
I am getting married in one month. I am writing out the thank you cards for my shower right now. In March I discovered that he was sending emails to various women advertising sex on craigslist. His emails said "HI" or "do you have a pic?". I confronted him, he denied it, erased all the emails and then after a week of my hysterical crying he finally admitted he sent the emails. Now we go through thereapy and talks and a long series of conversations about how to regain my trust. He maintains to this day there was no intention for physical contact with these women. The therapist says it is entirely possible, but that he needs to be open about what is going on with him. I explained it will take a long time for me to trust again, and that he needs to reassure me, he needs to be an open book with me and that I didn't want to live the rest of my life with him worried about what he is doing, checking emails or texts. I WANT to trust him. Well, obviously I don't yet - and two weeks ago found ANOTHER email to a woman living in a location he was at for a business trip. The email said "HI"...that is it. Of course I find out who what her name is and where she lives and confront him. At first he denied it and then wiped out all his emails again. The next day says "I don't want to lie"......"I sent the email, but she is just a friend I knew from college and was in the area and thought I would drop a line to say hi".
I've been so upset the last couple weeks and through all of this, he says he loves me, there is only me in his life, he wasn't intending on doing anything, he will never lie to me again, etc, etc....on and on. I can tell he is getting aggravated by my questioning him about this woman - but I flat out told him that if we are going to get through this, he needs to answer any questions that. I never heard him mention her name before and I feel betrayed. I don't care if she is married or whatever (as he says) and there was no intention on his part and that the email was just innocent. It is not ok to go on a business trip 7 states away and send an email to a women you went to college with, without telling me, just to say hello - after what he did with the craigslists emails.
For a minute, please take the craigslists emails out of the picture, and tell me - lets say for argument that the women really was his friend in college and he was just dropping a line to say hi, since he was in the area. Should that be okay? Am I a complete idiot for considering believing his story? Please tell me that what he did was ok and I am just being paranoid because of the past. . If your husband went on a business trip and tried to contact a women he went to college that lived in the area, and didn't tell you about it, would you be okay with that? I don't know if I can get through this.